


I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me

by marvelorangesx



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bi Peter Parker, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Harley is a little shit, I cant write plot I’m sorry this is just for fun, Kinda accidentally slow burn?, Lets ignore infinity war, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Spider-Man far from home compliant, Parley, Pranks, both of them are, chaotic parley, endgame? I don’t know her, plot? what plot, tony is so done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-06-02 06:55:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 24,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19436233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelorangesx/pseuds/marvelorangesx
Summary: Peter goes to Tony’s lab to do science and finds a random boy instead.ORHow peter and harley became friends (oblivious idiots in love) and drove the avengers insane





	1. mr stark is blonde?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the chapters aren’t gonna be that long because it just fits better for this fic, but I hope you like it :)  
> Also this is me trying to do vine references I’m sorry ok

Peter sighed as he stepped into the elevator. It had been a long day-no a long week. So what if it was only Tuesday?

“Welcome back, Peter. Where to?” FRIDAY’s voice asked. Peter sleepily mumbled “lab, please,” as he shut his eyes and let a gentle smile creep onto his face at the thought of unwinding after school in Mr Stark’s lab. It was always relaxing to slip into rhythm with Mr Stark. Sometimes they worked in silence, words unneeded as they focused on whatever project sat before them, their motions in sync as if they had a quiet understanding, and sometimes they rambled at the other, (well, that one was mostly Peter) words about science and Karen’s programming and Spider-Man’s patrols and school flowing fast and without stopping for breath. Tony would deny it, but he actually found Peter’s rambling endearing and was always there to listen if he needed to rant. 

Peter shuffled out of the tower’s elevator, ready for the quiet kind of afternoon when he froze in the doorway to the lab, watching as Mr Stark spun around in circles in a chair. And he had also dyed his curly hair... blonde? 

“Uhh hello Mr Stark? I didn’t kn-“ Peter cut himself off when the man stopped spinning and looked at him. Ok, either Peter was really tired and just hallucinating but that looked like a boy around his age. In the lab. And Mr Stark was nowhere to be seen. 

He blinked as if to clear his vision but that obviously didn’t do anything to change the scene. “You’re not Mr Stark,” he stated dumbly.

“No,” the boy replied, looking amused at Peter who just blinked again and stared at the stranger, taking in his floppy hair and bright blue mischievous eyes and his growing smirk, wondering who on earth this kid was and how he was here in Mr Stark’s private lab and _how did he look so hot with that dumb smirk_ before he realised he should probably say something. 

“Who are you, then?” Peter stumbled out, “wait no that sounded kinda rude I just mean i haven’t seen you around before and Mr Stark doesn’t let just anyone into his lab unless I went to the wrong floor but that would mean FRIDAY made a mistake and she doesn-“ he cut himself off as the boy’s amused smile just grew even more at his rambling and Peter wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Why was he so awkward?

“I’m Harley,” the other teen chuckled, his voice laced with a slight southern drawl. He wasn’t giving Peter incredulous or annoyed looks so he let himself relax slightly and told himself to calm down.

“Peter,” he said, pointing at himself and continued to stare dumbly, words lost in his haze of a brain and he really couldn’t deal with this right now. He was so confused.

⎊

Harley continued to smirk at the cute dork that had appeared in the doorway. The poor guy was clearly struggling but Harley was a little shit and didn’t help out, just continued looking at the random kid with the brown waves and big doe eyes and nerdy sweater who apparently knew Tony. 

He raised an eyebrow, before sassily asking “...sooo are you just gonna keep staring or..?” And when the boy- Peter- blushed and looked away, Harley almost died at how adorable and bashful he looked and ok wow that was quick. How is he already enamoured when he doesn’t even know this person? 

He apparently decided to take pity on him and added “I’m kidding. Tony told me to wait here, he’ll be back in a second.”

Right on cue, a voice sounded behind Peter’s head as Tony froze in the doorway too. “Oh no,” he muttered quietly as he looked between the two, “the apocalypse is coming...”

“Hey, old man! When were you going to introduce me to this cutie?” Harley chimed, motioning to Peter in front of him. Tony shook his head, “There’s a reason I never introduced you two murder children. For my own sanity.” He looked exasperated and Peter chucked at the look on his face before what Harley said sunk in. _Wait, did he just say-_

“That’s rude, we’re great, and you denied us our friendship,” Harley put on an exaggerated innocent face, his lips curling into a pout as Mr Stark looked at him disbelievingly before sighing.  
“Well I guess I was just delaying the inevitable, especially now that you’re in New York and about to go to the same school as Peter...”  
Peter tilted his head like a confused puppy so Harley added: “I’m from Tennessee, baby! And now I have escaped to come and enrich this billionaire’s life.”  
“By enrich he means live with and leach off of, and apparently, torment.”  
Peter was still confused. He didn’t have the brain energy to try and figure this out right now, and one of his only functioning brain cells was having a gay panic at the new kid, which wasn’t helping, like, at all. “...Cool?” He said, eliciting a giggle from Harley.  
“You’re a man of many words, I see.”  
Peter blushed again, but Harley’s laugh seemed to wake up some of his brain cells at least, allowing him to respond. “Oh honey, you haven’t seen anything yet.” 

Tony blinked. What.  
“Did you just fucking _giggle_??” He stared at Harley, who was definitely acting weird. Then at Peter, also acting weird. He had never heard the kid respond so smoothly and so sassily before. When he first met Dr Banner he had stuttered so much that he gave up trying to talk to him and just gave him a thumbs up before practically running away. He would be proud right now if he wasn’t currently fearing for his life. 

They ignored him. 

“Well I just know you’re gonna show me.”

Tony was so done with this. _I should probably warn the avengers..._ he thought.

“You’re gonna need a tour guide around midtown, right?” 

They boys looked at each other with twin smirks.  
Tony whispered to himself, “I cant believe I’ve done this,” before turning to walk away, not missing the completely synchronised, deadpan, “aw fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this,” and two voices laughing.


	2. stare off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I wrote this before I saw ffh so all the characterisations are really off, but I like blunt, badass MJ so that’s who you’re getting (I still really liked the movie and thought that everyone’s character had developed really well since homecoming but for this fic we’re just gonna ignore the movie)  
> Also, I’ve written the next chapter but I’m going away so I don’t know when I can post next. If I can, it’ll probably be up soon :)

The next day, Harley stepped out of the car, waving goodbye to Happy (who just grunted and drove away) before gripping the straps of his backpack and looking up at the school building. He was kinda nervous, I mean, it’s a whole new school full of hundreds of new teenagers that he didn’t know- well, apart from Peter. At the thought of him, he relaxed slightly, knowing there was someone that he (sort of) knew, because even though they only met yesterday they already got on as if they had been friends for years. It didn’t matter that he didn’t know Peter’s favourite colour or his favourite food, because he had time to learn these things, or, that’s what he told himself. So, Harley pushed his shoulders back and walked into the double doors, trying to reassure himself from the doubt that was creeping up. _I don’t actually know him that well. What if Peter doesn’t actually like me, or what if it’s awkward and we can’t find anything to talk about? Or what if his friends don’t like me, so he kicks me out anyway? Or what if-_  
“Harley!” Peter’s chirpy voice snapped him out of his thoughts and his grin was so big and bright and goofy that Harley couldn’t help his own smile that appeared in return.  
“Hey,” he said in relief, slightly breathless and hair mussed from the wind and damn if that didn’t kill Peter. Who ignored that thought ~~because he was in denial.~~  
“Can I see your schedule? I’ll show you to your class, he offered, and the other boy nodded and pulled out his timetable. “Ooh you’re in a lot of my classes actually, but not my last two periods. C’mon.” He started walking down the corridor, leading Harley to their first class. 

⎊

After a morning of being repeatedly called out to the front of the class to introduce himself, Harley was relieved when the lunch bell rang. Only, then he internally panicked once he realised he was about to meet Peter’s friends, because he really needed to make a good impression on them. He needn’t have worried, he realised as soon as a short asian boy bounded over to them with a “hey Peter!” in a voice happy enough to rival Peter’s own. God, they were both like excited puppies.

“Ned! This is Harley, the guy I was telling you I met yesterday? And Harley, this is Ned, my best friend!”  
They greeted each other with small smiles and made their way to the cafeteria as Peter’s tummy growled loudly. And then grumbled again.  
Harley let out a laugh, “Are you that hungry?”  
“Yeah, man, I have to eat a lot ever since the sp- uhhh I’ve got a fast metabolism.” Peter internally cringed at his slip up; had he really almost revealed his identity 2.2 seconds after knowing this guy? Ned, however was trying really hard not to laugh and Harley just raised an eyebrow. “Oookayyy then. So Peter is a hungry boi, why aren’t we eating yet?!” And he turned to get his lunch, assuming they would follow. Ned smacked Peter in the arm as soon as Harley was far enough away.  
“Dude! You already almost told him your secret identity,” he chuckled in disbelief while Peter went red and stammered, choosing to ignore Ned and get his lunch. He was hungry damn it. 

They had sat down for 3 seconds before a girl with a curly fringe in her face and an unimpressed look plastered on slammed her tray down a couple seats down from them. “Losers,” she said in greeting, shocking Harley a little before pulling out some book thicker than Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and diverting her attention to that.  
“Don’t worry about MJ. She seems blunt but she’s all fluff underneath, aren’t you Michelle?”  
Peter only got an unamused grunt in return.  
“Hey MJ don’t you wanna greet our new friend? This is Harley. I think you have last period with him.”  
At this, the girl looked up from the page she was reading and when her eyes met Harley, she studied him. He refused to bristle under her gaze (even though he was kinda scared) and just made eye contact with a challenging look of his own. It felt like an eternity before her lips slightly quirked up and she shot out a “Hi,” before burying her face in the book again.  
“I think that was a success,” Harley turned to Ned and Peter, the two of them laughing a little before nodding.  
“That was definitely her approval.” 

If MJ let herself smile at that behind her book, no one had to know.


	3. (ง'̀-'́)ง

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bby chapter

Peter and Harley were in the lab when Tony left for some Stark Industries thing with Pepper- not without a sigh and a glance back at them that said ‘please don’t blow anything up.’ 

Five minutes in, Harley was already restless, spinning in his chair like the day they met and whining “I’m bored, let’s do something. Ooh a prank!”  
“And who do you suppose we prank?”  
“Anyone! No, everyone! Ned and MJ to start with and then- you’ve met the avengers, right? Wait, who even are you to Tony and why did I not question why he lets a teenager in his lab?”  
“Because you’re also a teenager in his lab.”  
“Right. How did you meet him though? Did you know he broke into my garage when I was eleven?”  
Peter spluttered a laugh in shock and spun around to look at him. “Really? Oh well he just kinda showed up in my house...”  
“You know, that actually sounds like Tony.”  
“Mmhmm,” Peter hummed absentmindedly.  
“Ok, so how should we prank my new school besties?” 

⎊

Let’s just say they would never be pranking Michelle with glitter ever again. She was scarier than Pepper when she was angry, and the rainbow glitter she was shaking out of her bun did not make her any less intimidating when she saw the two of them trying not to laugh and gave them threats that they had no doubt she would go through with.

⎊

 **beter** @peterparkour  
my name is peter with a b and-

 **tony broke into my garage** @hakeener  
wait stop, where’s the b??

 **beter** @peterparkour  
tHeRe’s a bEe?!?

 **MJ** @michellejones  
you guys are so lame

 **beter** @peterparkour  
you love us MJ 

**MJ** @michellejones  
no. no i don’t. Ned and i regret the day you met. 

**guy in the chair** @nedleeds  
i would disagree with her but she’s scary and that glitter didn’t come out my hair for at least 6 days

 **beter** @peterparkour  
(ง'̀-'́)ง

 **tony broke into my garage** @hakeener  
(ง'̀-'́)ง


	4. witches in an alley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol does this make up for the last chapter? Two in one day, don’t say I didn’t ever treat you. Also, I love fics with a big identity reveal and everything but I thought this would be funnier and would be more in character for how I’m writing them :)

Harley slipped his headphones in, walking leisurely back to the tower. Happy couldn’t pick him up from school today, he had other duties, and Tony offered to come instead but Harley just laughed and said “that’s not very inconspicuous. You really want to show up to a high school?”

Hence the walking. He didn’t mind, he took it as a way to explore more of New York since he was still kinda new to it, though there wasn’t much to see on the journey home. He thought about taking a detour so that he could actually see some interesting parts of the city, but then he’d be out walking for hours and that would probably earn him a lecture from Tony about ‘not being safe blah blah’.

Doesn’t matter though. Because apparently Harley is a magnet for trouble everywhere he goes.

Well to be fair, this one wasn’t entirely his fault. He was trying to help! Walking past an alley and seeing two bulky men cornering a woman into the brick wall doesn’t really count as him looking for trouble, it’s not like it was his fault. And suddenly he was moving; he didn’t even realise he was walking towards them until he heard his own voice.  
“Hey, leave her alone,” he commanded, his voice way more confident than he felt, causing the men to stop and turn around slowly to face him, as if they were moving purposefully and for dramatic effect. _Gulp._ Well, they sure were scary. _harleyharleyharley what are you doing!!!!!?????_

The two men shared a glance with each other before, in the blink of an eye, the one on the left held a knife to the woman’s throat and the other whipped out a gun and pointed it straight at Harley’s head. The woman started crying. Or maybe she already was. Started crying harder? _welp, we’re gonna die._  
“Take one step closer to her, we dare you,” one of the jerks said, with a menacing grin.

Harley had no idea what to do: he couldn’t come closer to help her without literally dying but he wouldn’t leave her here either. So he stayed frozen on the spot, his crystal blue eyes boring into the thug with the gun trained on him while thoughts flew through his brain fast enough to rival Tony’s thought process when he was creating something and running on his 7th cup of coffee. God, Harley had no idea how he got into these situations. 

Just as Harley was about to take action on his 4th (definitely stupid) plan (he had dismissed the first three due to a guaranteed bullet hole in his head) there was a quiet _thwip_ and the guy’s gun was pulled out of his hand, and a second _thwip_ instantly after the first that threw the knife far away down the alley.  
“Aw come on guys, really? Holding someone at gunpoint and/or knifepoint is kinda rude.”  
_Kinda rude?? Did this boi really just-_  
Weaponless, the men took one glance at Spider-Man and tried to make a run for it. Needless to say, they didn’t get very far, and the hero left them wrapped up in webbing like a gift to the police. He asked the woman if she was okay, if she needed help getting home, but received a shake of the head in response and a shaky “thankyou” before scuttling off quickly, like she just wanted to get home and in bed and wake up tomorrow and have it all be a dream.

Harley on the other hand, stayed frozen, studying the guy dressed in red and blue spandex in front of him, wondering why he seemed... familiar?

Then Spider-Man opened his mouth. “What about you? Do you need me to swing you home or something? That was a brave thing you did but it was stupid, you could’ve got hurt- well to be fair I guess I can’t really be the one to tell you off for jumping in front of guns, I mean-“  
He stopped talking abruptly after seeing Harley’s jaw drop, his eyes bubbling with recognition. Oops. 

“ _You’re_ Spider-Man?! Why am I not surprised?!! This is such a Peter thing, oh my god, don’t even try to deny it after that rambling you just did, that was undeniably you... also your voice?? How has nobody figured out your identity?”

He couldn’t see the other’s face, but he got a sheepish vibe off him, his hand reaching up to run the back of his neck, kinda like he was embarrassed, and Harley could see the switch from Spider-Man to Peter Parker the second it happened. He started laughing. Maybe he was going insane or the adrenaline from before was fading and he didn’t really know why he was laughing but after a startled look at the maybe-crazy-Harley, Peter joined in, too. 

⎊

When Tony watched the baby monitor footage later that day and found he two of them cackling like witches for no apparent reason in a dirty alley, an incredulous expression grew on his face before he pinched the bridge of his nose and tilted his head to the ceiling. “Thor help us,” he whispered.


	5. wake me up (wake me up inside)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what this chapter is either, basically just a filler but I’m just going with the flow

Bruce Banner liked Peter Parker. He could tell he was a smart kid (even if their first meeting would not support this conclusion) and though a little awkward and almost painfully overly polite at first, once he got comfortable with the avengers he truly felt like part of the family. He sometimes came to work with Bruce when he felt more sciencey than mechanical, so he had seen first hand how fast the kid’s brain worked and how intelligent he was. Over the last few movie nights and game nights, Peter was becoming more and more sassy as his confidence around them grew, not unlike Tony Stark, who’s best friend was sarcasm, and he had started to quote internet things that Bruce didn’t understand but left Peter laughing to himself every time.

When Bruce first met Harley, Tony had said that he was going to be living here at the tower, and Harley’s face just held the most devilish smirk he had seen. He could instantly tell that he was going to be trouble- but not in a villainous way, just in the rebellious teenager way. He didn’t know if that was worse. 

Therefore, he probably should’ve expected the terrifying force of nature that they would become once they met each other, but honestly, he didn’t want to think about it. He has caught them doing questionable things on more than one occasion but he figured that it would be worse (for his sanity) if he got involved, and it wasn’t like they were being dangerous. So he let the teenagers teenager. 

Only, one night he wakes up from a nap and heads towards the kitchen for a glass of water. It can’t have been that late, maybe half eleven, but all the team were exhausted from a mission that afternoon and were currently in bed. Rubbing his eyes, he steps into the doorway to the common room and hears music blasting, the chorus screaming “WAKE ME UP INSIDE” as Peter and Harley sat on the floor, violently rocking a wooden crate with a baby doll inside.  
_What even- Where did they even get-_

Nope. Bruce was too old for this bullshit. He spun around and went back to his room, wondering what on earth was going on in those kids’ minds, actually scared of them. For them? Whatever. He could deal without his glass of water.


	6. Steve as pikachu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t remember the last time I had poptarts and it shows

It was Friday night and almost the whole team were squished in the common room to watch a movie. It was a tight squeeze before, with two giant sofas and two loveseats, but with the addition of Harley to the family they were practically on top of each other. Usually Steve just sighed and took a pillow to sit on the floor with his back against the sofa, but he was currently sitting next to Bucky in a debate with him about being a ‘sacrificial idiot with no regard to his personal safety’. Peter and Harley were the last ones to make it down to the living area and since there was no need to rush since everyone had already claimed a seat, went to the kitchen to raid the cupboards. 

Harley was messaging on his phone with his head bent down, causing his hair to flop forward in the way that made Peter’s belly do the flippy thing (which, he had _seriously_ convinced himself was jealously, and told himself to cut it out because he didn’t want to be jealous of Harls) when the cupboards slammed shut violently, practically shaking the whole kitchen, startling him and making him look up at Peter, who wore an expression that seemed to be a mixture of sadness, betrayal, anger and disappointment. He swivelled around to face the rest of the team, gently asking, “who ate all of the pop tarts?”

Thor and Bucky looked guilty, and Peter noticed them shuffling. He took a deep breath in.

Harley slowly raised his phone to point it at the scene.

“Kid, I can get you some more tomorrow. Pop tarts aren’t even a movie snack anyway.”  
Peter abruptly turned his gaze to Tony and yelled “THIS IS WHY MOM DOESNT FUCKING LOVE YOU!” Leaving the avengers in various stages of shock, and Harley giggling behind his camera.

⎊

 **tony broke into my garage** @hakeener  
[screenshot of the end of the video, showing the avengers with different expressions on their faces. Tony has his eyes shut, looking completely done; Steve looks mildly scandalised; Thor still just looks guilty; Sam and Rhodey are sharing a look that screams ‘what did we do to deserve this’; Natasha has an eyebrow raised, slightly amused; Wanda is smiling; Bruce is confused; Clint is oblivious, pulling faces at Bucky and Bucky looks like he wants to die.] 

**MJ** @michellejones  
on one hand, i really want to know what’s going on. on the other, i really don’t

 **Kat** @katiekather  
ok we need the context of this photo right now. everyone’s faces? priceless 

**I thought you were American** @letsgolesbians  
bucky is a mood 

**lAngUAgE** @capitanamxrica  
[steve’s face alongside the pikachu meme] 

**jen loves spidey** @surejen  
poor, oblivious, baby clint 

**doug** @anotherday  
@PepperPotts come get yo children 

Peter took Harley’s distracted laughing to his advantage and threw himself into the last seat left while shooting a glare at Thor, Bucky and Tony which was mostly for show, they could tell he wasn’t really upset. Harley pouted for a moment, before shrugging and plonking himself on top of Peter’s lap, motioning for someone to press play. The team watched Peter turn beetroot red underneath Harley, and they all smirked. _Oh, it’s like that_. Nat quickly told FRIDAY to start the movie before anyone could move, or you know, say something and spoil it.

During the first ten minutes, Harley slowly slid off Peter until they were squished together, side by side, with Harley’s legs still draped over Peter’s lap. It suddenly hit Harley that he felt comfortable enough with the boy to do that, to be this close to him, and he hadn’t even worried about his reaction. It felt like Peter was the friend he’s been missing his whole life; he was his matching puzzle piece and together they just _clicked._ He turned his head away from the movie to glance at Peter, only to find him eyes closed, breathing slowly, head drooping until it landed on Harley’s shoulder. His heart clenched. His best friend was so adorable. 

Twenty minutes more, and Harley was asleep too. By the end of the movie, the team turned to look at them, realising that it had been too peaceful with those two around, and practically cooed at the sight (while praising the gods that they were unconscious and couldn’t cause trouble). Gone were the smart arses and snarky teens, instead replaced with innocent looking sleeping children. 

“Should we leave them or wake them?” Steve asked.  
“Noo, you can’t wake them, look at them,” Wanda cooed.  
“Ok but the real question is how long has that,” Tony motioned to the two cuddled up, “been going on?”  
“Oh, no Tony, they don’t know it’s going on,” Natasha smirked at the two of them, making Bucky look at them incredulously. “Should we tell the-“  
“No! No meddling. Let them work it out!”  
“Or, you know, don’t talk about it right in front of them where they could easily wake up and hear...”  
Natasha and Wanda shooed everyone out the common room (with a glare if they hesitated) and then they left as well after draping a blanket over the two boys (but not before ensuring FRIDAY had saved a picture of the them snuggling).

⎊

The morning sun beamed through the window, seemingly brighter than usual and it was too much for Peter’s senses. He was reluctant to open his eyes- why was it so bright in his room today? What was the point of eyelids if he could still see light through them?

He groaned quietly and burrowed further into his bed- when a chuckling sounded from the doorway. Peter’s eyes shot open. The _kitchen_ doorway. Where Bucky stood laughing at his groggy morning demeanour, considering he was snuggling further into Harley. He glanced up at the sleeping figure’s face, finding gentle angles and a mop of wavy blonde hair (he ignored the urge to run his fingers through it- thinking _wow_ he must be more jealous than he thought). Oh my god he fell asleep on the sofa with Harley. 

Bucky held eye contact with him as he took an exaggerated bite of his toast and walked away towards the elevator (dramatic bitch), leaving Peter contemplating what to do. Getting up would probably be impossible without waking up the other boy: their legs were tangled together like spaghetti, Peter’s head and hand rested loosely on Harley’s chest and Harley’s arm was wrapped around Peter’s waist, but for some reason he also didn’t want to. He felt so safe and warm. 

So he snuggled some more, letting the other boy sleep. 

⎊

Turns out he fell asleep again after that, which he found out when the two of them jumped out their skin at a loud, collective yell. If he wasn’t in a tangle of limbs, he definitely would’ve ended up on the ceiling. 

Some of the team had formed a semicircle in front of the sofa, gazing at them with grins on their faces after they had successfully shocked them. Peter glared at them, especially Bucky, who’s grin seemed more evil and knowing than the rest, cursing them for waking him up like that. He was about to open his mouth, to snark at them whether they enjoyed starting the day with a heart attack, but Harley had apparently seen enough after being alive to the world for 5 seconds and just shut his eyes and tugged Peter back down with him, earning a squeal (no, Peter did not squeal...) and many struggling attempts at repressed laughter. 

“Go ‘way,” Harley croaked at them, more of his accent slipping through in his sleepy voice and thank god his eyes were shut and couldn’t see how that had evoked a blush from Peter. “Sleep.” That didn’t really make sense in context so Peter figured that one was for him and he laughed in response.  
“Wow, a man of many words I see?”  
Harley peeked an eye open and raised an eyebrow at him. “You can’t steal tha’! I said tha’ to you.”  
“I know, Harls. That was the poi- wow you’re not a morning person, are you?”  
He just got the middle finger in return. 

Peter started detaching himself, which earned a sad “nooo”, but it was needed so he could quickly escape. Once his legs were free, he slowly moved his hands to Harley’s middle and then suddenly attacked. Harley spluttered in shock, his eyes wide open, giggling loudly and wriggling under him, yelling “stooop, stop it pete- AHhh!” 

Peter ran away and hid behind the line of avengers who had been watching the scene unfold fondly, using them as shields when Harley sat up and stated, “Oh, I’m gonna get you, you sneaky little spiderling.” 

The spiderling in question shrieked and turned to run down the hall, with Harley chasing him close behind.


	7. The Cream Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou for all the comments and love for this story!! It’s great reading responses and your reactions, I love you alllll <3

Peter giggled and quickly tried to muffle it with his hand while he nudged Harley- which was quite difficult seeing as there was barely any space to lift his arm and jab it in Harley’s side. Not that Harley seemed to be struggling. He was somehow nudging and prodding him every two seconds as he tried to wiggle through the space next to him.  
“Harlss, you could have waited and just crawled behind me!” Peter said, trying to sound annoyed but he was still trying not to giggle so it didn’t really have the wanted effect.  
“Can’t leave it all to you, spiderbaby!”  
He just shook his head and tried to squeeze forwards; the vents were definitely not wide enough for the two of them (yet here they were). They only had 10 minutes while Clint was in the shower, so they scurried as fast as they could (how did clint travel by vent all the damn time? It was difficult, okay?) until they reached the opening above Clint’s room. They shared a glance, evil glints in their sparkling eyes, and each shook their can. 

“Let’s do it, spiderbaby,” Harley whispered, and the two of them attacked the vents with whipped cream, grinning maniacally. Peter surrounded the edges of the vent opening in neat(ish) rows of white spirals while Harley dotted the tunnels with smiley faces and archery targets and dicks until their cans were empty and the vents thoroughly smelled like dairy.

As if on cue, they heard the shower switch off- well, Peter and his super hearing did and he motioned to tell Harley this. They had ended up on opposite sides of the vent, divided by cream, so he mouthed “meet in living room,” before scurrying off on all fours, actually kinda looking like a spider. 

⎊

The two boys were casually sitting on the sofa, watching some show on the TV while Steve and Natasha were cooking dinner in the kitchen when Clint stormed in through the doorway, entirely covered in white foam with an unhappy sneer painting his mouth. There was cream smeared even on his face and through his hair as well as all over his clothes and Peter and Harley could not help burst out laughing. They didn’t think the prank would work _that_ well, but this was entirely perfect. Harley couldn’t breathe he was laughing so hard, and his body slumped to the floor as he gasped for air, his chest shaking. 

The sound of him hitting the floor caused Steve to run to the doorway to see if something was wrong, but then the scene registered as he took in the sight of Clint: The Cream Monster and he dissolved into laughter too. Which caused Natasha to run over. 

All of them almost in tears at him only served to make Clint angrier and he jabbed an accusing finger at Peter and Harley. “You. You two did this. You’re gonna pay- I just showered for fucks sake!”  
“How-how did you manage to get it _everywhere_?!” Peter gasped, looking at the cream disbelievingly.  
Clint sulked. “Cream is SLIPPY and I SLIPPED only to land in some more GODDAMN CREAM!” He barked at them, shooting daggers at all four traitors.  
“But- it’s- it’s in your hair... and how’d you get it in your eyebrows, did you face plant into the floor?” Harley said and it only sent the four of them into deeper hysterics, so The Cream Monster span on his heel and stormed off, muttering angrily about showering and little bitch teenagers and traitor teammates and revenge before he disappeared around the corner. 

Nat smirked at them before saying, “he’ll have forgotten about it by 10pm tonight,” and returned to the kitchen once she had given them approving looks. 

Steve was trying to turn and glance at the boys scaldingly, about to tell them that pranks are no good and cruel but he just ended up laughing again which completely counteracted what he was about to say, so he just shook his head and went to join the spy in the kitchen.  
Peter and Harley high fived, looking proud and smug and completely amused.

“So, who’s our next victim?”


	8. Why can they do telepathy

Ned, MJ, Peter and Harley were all sitting in the library working on their physics assignment. They had fallen into a comfortable silence, occasionally asking a question or checking that they were doing the right thing. They were more than halfway done, and Harley was getting antsy at sitting down for too long. He began drumming his fingers on the table, swinging his feet to the beat in his head. You’d think it’d be Peter to get unsettled and not be able to focus for long, with his enhanced senses to distract him and fast metabolism that gives him far too much energy, but actually, he had practiced finely controlling his senses and was quite used to them by now, which made him slightly more able to tune out the world around him for a while and focus on whatever task he was doing. It was definitely not the same story a year ago. Harley today reminds MJ of Peter when he first got his powers, only, without the flinching at quiet noises as if someone had just screamed in his ear.

But, even so, it didn’t take that much to distract Peter, especially since he couldn’t ever really, truly tune Harley out, so he noticed when the other boy stopped working and began fiddling. 

They made eye contact over the table and Harley picked up his drink, slurping loudly and obnoxiously without end until MJ sighed and looked up. “Please stop. Go outside if you need a break,” she said sternly but she took in the way that neither boy broke their gaze to look at her while she spoke. You didn’t need to be observant to know they were having a silent conversation. After she spoke, Harley stopped slurping at least, and she was about to thank him but the second he stopped, both boys turned to her with scary synchronisation and Peter began slurping loudly instead. _Slurrrrpppp._

Before she could start threatening them and/or hurting them Ned groaned. “When did Harley turn Peter into such a troublemaker?” 

At this, Michelle smirked. “You mean a little shit? No, he’s always been one, that’s for sure, Harley just brings it out in him. You’re the more sensible friend Ned. I miss the days he only hung out with you.” 

Harley pouted at her. “You wish you never met me?”  
She rolled her eyes at him as an answer, standing up and walking away without a goodbye, muttering under her breath so quietly that even Peter could only pick out a few words like “idiots” and “dumb” and “friends” said spitefully, even though she clearly wasn’t actually angry. 

“So have you two worked out how to telepathically communicate or something? To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Ned started, folding his arms over the desk. 

“Huh?” Peter grunted.

“You’re scarily in sync. You both somehow knew exactly what the other would do and turned to MJ at the exact same time. But neither of you said a word...”  
“Spiderbaby just gets me, dude. Although, now that you mention it-“  
“Telepathic communication technology! We have to try it in Tony’s lab!”  
“Yes! And then we will literally be unstoppable!”  
Ned groaned again. “Well I think that’s my cue to leave.”  
“You don’t have to go, Ned, we-“ Peter began, but he was cut off when Ned waved his hand in a ‘eh’ gesture. “Nah it’s cool. I’m not just leaving you two to be chaotic, I’m actually meeting Betty after this, so...”  
“Oooh tell yo girl we said hi! And don’t have too much fun, Naughty Nedward!”  
Ned blushed a little before shaking his head at the boy wiggling his eyebrows, “Right back at ya, Harley. Bye, Pete.”

Then he walked away, leaving Harley a little confused, but he dismissed it to start planning the newest technology advancement with Peter. “C’mon darlin’, let’s go invent telepathy and freak out the avengers.” 

⎊

Turns out, it’s pretty hard to make a telepathy communication device in one afternoon in a lab (they worked out some theories and drafts but it would take a while to get a working prototype) so they settled for the next best thing. Their freaky friendship connection. Oh, and also morse code combined with Peter’s superhearing helped a little. 

The next time they emerged to talk to the team, they encountered Sam, Wanda and Bucky coming back from training in the gym. ‘It’s go time,’ Harley tapped on his arm, not making any audible noise except to Peter, who smirked a little. They had established a few shortcuts, because obviously tapping out morse code wasn’t quick enough to sustain a normal, flowing conversation, and they already agreed on some phrases they would stick to, like ‘hello’ instead of ‘hi’ because they wanted this to be as freaky as possible. Peter’s hearing was also useful in telling exactly when Harley was about to speak, because he could pick out the slight intake of breath and the sound of his mouth opening before he spoke, and his speedy reflexes took care of the rest.  
“Hey guys,” Wanda smiled warmly at them, taking a swig of water.  
“Hello, Wanda. How was training?” the two voices asked, in time with each other like a harmony, both of them raising their right hand to wave three times before placing it down on their lap. The three of them blinked at the teens, before Wanda cautiously added, “it was great, thankyou? What have you two been up to?”  
“Physics revision in the library,” they said in unison, waited a second, then smiled brightly up at the trio.  
“What the fuck,” Sam whispered, looking equally as horrified as Bucky.  
“Uhhh... okay, you guys want lunch?”  
“No thanks, we already ate.”  
She looked scared. “Okay, well we’re gonna go make some food now...” she said before walking slowly towards the kitchen, not turning her back to them as she backed away, leaving Sam and Bucky rooted to the spot staring at the two of them.  
“Can we help you?” they chimed together, looking up innocently at the men before them.  
“What the fuck,” Sam whispered again, at the same time Bucky muttered, “Do they share the same brain now?” while they blinked at the boys, with fear and confusion behind their eyes before scurrying off to join Wanda, away from the scary seventeen year olds. After they left, Peter and Harley could hear Wanda say to them, “It’s better to not ask.” 

Turning to face each other, they said “Hey, that was fun! Let’s go scare Steve!”  
Because once they fell into their rhythm there was no stopping them.


	9. Spiderman is banned today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how everyone collectively agreed that Harley uses a plethora of pet names for Peter (just wanna clarify that it kinda just slips out, his subconscious knowwws he likes Petey but for now he thinks he’s his bestie)

Peter was currently asleep with his head face down in his arms folded on the table while Mr Harrington droned on. His only movement was the slow rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. When Harley first saw him this morning, he had given him a telling off, seeing the bruises on his face and the way his eyes dropped like they were too heavy to keep open. He sounded angry, telling him to be more careful on patrol while Peter insisted that it wasn’t as bad as it looked, and that his super healing would take care of it, but the truth was that Harley was still scared. He had full confidence in Peter’s abilities- he even had that weird Peter tingle thing which meant danger could barely touch him- but the world kept getting crazier and crazier and Harley didn’t know how long it was until Peter got seriously hurt. 

When MJ walked past them bickering she called them an old married couple, at which they turned to face her, clasped their hands together and held them up in front of her face with a challenge in their gaze. She rolled her eyes and walked away. 

Now Harley was watching him doze off in class beside him, and his worry was growing again. Peter didn’t know the meaning of the word self-preservation. He doubted he even slept for three hours last night, and that simply wouldn’t do for Harley, so he concocted a plan to get him to take a night off being a hero.

After the lesson ended and lunch break began, he shook Peter’s shoulder gently to wake him and forced him to eat some lunch to satisfy his spider metabolism while the other mumbled grumpily about sleep and half heartedly chewed, then Harley let him sleep the last half hour of lunch again, talking in low tones with Ned and MJ so they didn’t rouse him. Peter barely remembered the rest of the afternoon of lessons because he was pretty much in a daze even if he hadn’t fell asleep again, and soon enough the two boys were getting in Happy’s car on their way back to the tower. 

The second they arrived, Harley grasped Peter’s wrist, exclaiming “movie night!” and dragging him up to his room. “We are going to order take out and watch films until we’re brain dead.”  
“No, wait, Harls, I need to patrol...”  
Harley sighed. “No, darlin’, what you need is a rest. I don’t think you were conscious for 90% of school today; you’re exhausted, you’re beat up. You won’t be able to save anyone if you’re not fully alert, you’ll just end up getting hurt, and I don’t think I’d- I don’t think I’d be able to live if that happened so shut your ass and come have a movie night with your favourite person. I think Queens can survive one night without their spiderbaby- they did before you got your powers, didn’t they? They have a police force for a reason.” The more Harley spoke, the more Peter looked like he wanted to give in, and he was letting himself be dragged into Harley’s room. He had noticed the slight panic and vulnerability in his friend’s voice before it switched and became persuasive again, and it made Peter feel guilty like nothing else to hear Harley’s voice crack because of him. Perhaps he should relax a bit; he’s no good to any citizen if he’s dead. “Also, I’ve never seen Star Wars.” 

Peter looked up at him so quickly he almost gave himself whiplash, an offended expression on his face but excitement twinkling in his eyes at the thought of showing Harley his favourite movies. “Oh, well that just settles it then,” he said firmly, making the taller boy throw his head back with a laugh, blonde tufts of hair flopping down onto his forehead when he looked back down at Peter (who briefly wondered if the waves on his head were as soft as they looked) and relief pooled in his chest when he realised he had convinced him. They kinda just stared at each other for a second, silently thanking the other, Peter’s honey eyes looking into Harley’s deep, blue ocean eyes. 

⎊

They managed three movies and a _lot_ of chinese takeout (mostly Peter-the-human-vacuum, who could still apparently eat after he had finished his share, and stole bits of Harley’s while he ignored the little indignant “Hey!” (he knew Harley didn’t actually mind)) before drifting off, despite Peter’s desperate attempts at staying up to watch Harley’s reaction to all his favourite parts, and FRIDAY switched off the TV once they had been asleep for five minutes. The next morning, they blinked awake to the sound of the AI’s ‘get up for school’ alarm, not as tangled as they were when they woke up on the sofa but still close enough that Peter’s head was on Harley’s arm. “Gnnnhhh,” Harley said eloquently, and Peter rolled off the bed with a smirk.  
“Wow I wasn’t kidding when I accused you of not being a morning person. Hey, can I borrow this hoodie?”  
“Gnnhhh.”  
“Cool, thanks!” He said way too chirpily, irritating the groggy teen, pulling the grey hoodie over his head and it was only five minutes after he had left the room that Harley realised it was a good thing, not meant to irritate him. He was energised enough because he had actually rested. 

“I am a success,” Harley whispered to the morning air, jumping out of his skin when he received a reply.  
“No, you’re going to be late. Get up, I made us breakfast,” Peter’s amused voice chimed from where his head was curled around the doorway to peep in. Harley scowled and threw a pillow at him, which Peter easily ducked with a chuckle.  
“Don’t make me come in there.....” Peter taunted, taking slow steps towards where Harley lay, with his hands out and fingers wiggling teasingly at Harley who shot up to his feet in an instant. “No. No, no, no stop. I’m up! I’m up, okay?” This only proved to make Peter smirk evilly even wider before he turned and walked away again, going for a sassy look but being drowned by his borrowed hoodie only made him look like an adorable angry kitten. That’s the exact phrase that Harley used when Tony later asked where he got the hoodie from, saying that it’s his and he doesn’t even want it back. Tony had to turn away to hide his knowing look. Natasha said no meddling. _But they were such dumbasses._


	10. Harley the honorary spider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning- some homophobia in this one, I tried to make it brief. I support everyone, no matter their sexuality, gender, race,,, I’m sorry if you’ve ever experienced any hate or prejudice because of any of these, I don’t understand the human race

Natasha and Peter decided a while ago that they needed a ‘spider’s day out’, but only once the heatwave arrived did Peter have an idea, begging enthusiastically to go to a pool and have a day to relax in the sun. He knew it’d be pointless to ask Tony and the rest of the avengers because... well, it’s a public place, and they were public figures. Natasha, on the other hand, knew how to blend in seamlessly in almost any situation you can imagine, despite her fiery red hair; she knew exactly how to manipulate her body language and appearance so that no one but the true crazed fans would recognise her. When he brought up the idea after seeing her fanning herself with a bookmark, she smiled and said “God, yes that’s a great idea.”

So Peter ran up to his room to put on some swimming trunks, and Natasha was just about to get up off the sofa to pack a beach bag when Harley strolled in the living area and asked her, “Where’s Peter?”  
“He’s gone to get ready.”  
“Oh, do you know where he’s going?”  
“We’re having a spiders outing to the pool, it’s way too hot,” she said, noticing the way Harley pouted and his small “Oh, okay” as he flopped down on the sofa next to her, looking disheartened.  
“...But you can come with, if you want,” she offered, not wanting to leave him out and knowing that Peter and Harley would probably miss each other in the few hours they were apart anyway.  
“But I’m not.. a spider..”  
“That’s okay. You can be an honorary one today. Peter will want you to come anyway,” she said, before standing up and moving to leave. “Get your trunks on, Harley.”

⎊

The three of them stood in a small circle, so that they could put suncream on each other’s backs, Peter doing Natasha’s, Natasha doing Harley’s, and Harley doing Peter’s. Once they were done, they lay in sun beds and momma Nat pulled out three bottles of water that they took greedily, chugging it almost at once and praising her as a queen. “I’m just prepared,” she said with a smile, before collapsing back onto her own sunbed and adjusting the stylish sunglasses on her face. They watched a couple of kids splash around gleefully in the water when a loud snore startled them from the sunbed to Harley’s left. He looked over at the middle aged lady who was completely conked out, and he couldn’t help it. “Miss Keisha? Miss Keishaa? Oh my fuckin god she fucking ded,” he said, making Peter cover his mouth to repress a snort of laughter and Natasha to sigh even though she looked amused.  
“You know, I’m not gonna lie, I used to think she said lesquisha,” Peter added quietly, and Harley looked over at his innocent looking doe eyes for a good moment before he couldn’t take it and cracked up.  
“You’re dumb,” he said.  
“You’re dumb.”  
“No you’re dumb.”  
“No, you’re dumb.”  
“No. Y-“  
“Oh my god you are both complete idiots,” Natasha groaned and promptly stood up, tying her shoulder length hair into a quick pony while walking and dove gracefully into the pool to get away. They blinked at her abrupt absence, before Harley added in a whisper, “You’re the dumb one.” 

Peter turned his head to look at him, Harley desperately trying to keep a straight face, before he stood up and picked him up bridal style before he could even blink. It started to register to Harley once Peter took quick steps towards the pool’s edge, and he became frantic.  
“No, no no no I take it back, I take it back!!! I’m the dumb one, Petey pleas-“ and then Peter threw him into the shimmering water. He waited for Harley’s head to pop back to the surface so he could watch but didn’t give him time to scowl before launching himself in after him. “CANNONBALL!” He yelled, tuck jumping to land right beside him, splashing Harley with chlorine water all over again. Harley didn’t wait for Peter to reach the surface before attacking in revenge, grabbing him from underwater, causing a muffled screech to sound and bubbles to rise up out Peter’s mouth as he tried to kick away. His head popped up, and he took a breath of air and promptly began to swim away laughing, but Harley threw his arms around his neck and gripped on like a koala. Which didn’t really affect Peter’s ability to swim, you know, spider strength and all, so it just ended up as the two of them drifting around the pool while Peter the tree branch swam for the both of them. Natasha literally snorted when she saw them from the other end of the pool, Harley clutched on to Peter, both of them with dumb bright smiles on their faces that they probably didn’t even know were there, wondering how the hell they could act like such love struck idiots yet _not know._

Five minutes later, the two of them floated past the large lady who had been snoring beside them earlier, and she tutted. They thought that surely it wasn’t at them, and continued to drift off but then she looked directly into Harley’s eyes and said, “that’s disgusting.”

Peter stopped moving instantly. Turning to look at her, he replied, “Are you talking to us?” with a confused lilt in his Queens accent and a questioning gaze focused on her face.  
“Of course I am, I don’t see any other unnatural people around here.”  
Peter tilted his head like a confused puppy, she wasn’t exactly making sense, starting “what are yo-“ when it clicked for Harley what she was getting at.  
“Are you serious?” He spat angrily.  
“God didn’t intend for people to be _fags_ ,” she said sternly.  
“It is 20 fucking 19 you fucking fossil what the fuck is your problem you ignorant old-“  
“ _Harls,_ ” Peter interrupted before he could continue insulting the angry woman. Harley tightened his grip around Peter and took a deep breath in to steady himself before he took a swing at the stupid-  
“We’re leaving,” Peter said, to Harley or the woman no one knew, and Harley nodded even though Peter couldn’t see it, placing a firm kiss on his cheek and looking defiantly at the lady as if to say ‘fuck u we’re gay’ as they took off in the opposite direction to the lady. Peter’s stomach flipped again when Harley’s lips pressed against the side of his face, even it was only for a second, and Peter was starting to panic. He couldn’t exactly explain _that one_ away as jealousy. Thoughts swam through his head as frantically as he was swimming. _ohmygodohmygodiminlovewithharley HOW did I not even notice-_

Natasha came up beside them, looking at Peter’s blush and Harley’s determined anger and asked them if everything was okay because things over there looked intense. Harley nodded, but scoffed and just said, “homophobic bitch,” as an explanation while Peter stayed frozen. Natasha’s gaze darkened, but when she saw Peter she knew that more confrontation isn’t what he needed so she tried to let it go. Instead, she smirked and slyly said, “she clearly doesn’t know what she’s talking about- you’re adorable.”  
Peter blushed even harder and Natasha realised that _he_ finally realised, while Harley said jubilantly, “We know!”  
Oh well. One down, one to go, she guessed. 

⎊

The rest of the day was pretty chill; the koala had detached from Peter, who solely focused on the blue that surrounded him gleaming in the sun, just like Harley’s ey-  
Who solely focused on not drowning as he floated in the gentle ripples of insignificantly coloured liquid. Harley and Nat had returned to the sun beds, hoping to tan a little before they headed home. By the time they did, (after stopping for food, Peter’s bottomless belly was rumbling again) all three of them were exhausted and practically collapsed onto the giant sofa, falling asleep in an instant, and this time, FRIDAY took the picture of the three of them cuddled up herself.


	11. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was different in my head? I hope it works lol

Tony didn’t know what time it was. Coffee. He needed coffee.

That’s how he ended up stumbling onto the common floor at Odin-knows-what-hour (it was actually midday. Midday Tony, please get some sleep) but abruptly stopped when he saw the shenanigans occurring in the common room. He wanted to know why he thought it was a good idea to design this floor so that the kitchen was connected by an archway from the common room. He just wanted coffee. 

Peter was hanging upside down off the tall ceiling, giggling his head off as Harley stood underneath him, throwing m&ms into the spider’s open mouth. Tony regretted his life decisions and almost turned to leave but he really needed coffee, and he was already here now. Anyway, the teens hadn’t noticed him yet and the longer he stood there and watched, the more amusing he found it. Harley threw a red m&m up to the ceiling but to the side, forcing Peter to have to scuttle along upside down to catch it on his tongue before it fell, sending Harley below him close to hysterics while he wheezed, “darlin’, y-you look like a crab,”  
The more Harley laughed, the more Peter did too, and he was giggling relentlessly while he tried to gasp out a response. “I d-didn’t know crabs c-could walk along the ceiling.” 

Harley threw another one, this time to the opposite side and Peter started scuttling for it when Tony cleared his throat from the corner, making both boys jump in shock- only, Peter was on the ceiling. So when he jumped his feet detached from solid ground (sky?) and he fell, not very gracefully, landing with an ‘oof’ right on top of Harley, knocking them both to the floor. Peter pushed himself off a little but didn’t get up, and they somehow ended up staring into each other’s eyes again. 

Harley’s first thought was that Peter’s dumb brown eyes were too pretty to ever look away from. His second was that he could feel all of Pete pressed against all of him, and didn’t want it to end. And woah. Okay. Harley couldn’t think that-either of those things- about his best friend. His third thought was that he was a complete moron for not noticing his own goddamn feelings for the spiderba- for Peter. 

At the same time, Peter had frozen, too. Since The Revelation at the pool, he just tried to ignore it (Because, isn’t that how all gen z’ers deal with problems?). He couldn’t not be Harley’s friend, and he knew that Harley would notice if he started acting differently, jumping away from physical contact and blushing when he called him all those stupid pet names like he always did and feeling his stomach flip when Harley laughed. They were pretty (extremely) close for friends, but it couldn’t exactly be changed abruptly or Harley would know something was up. So, he ignored it all, pushed it all to the side. He wasn’t going to ruin this friendship; Harley was too important to him. 

Only, right now, he was right on top of the guy, looking into his ocean blue eyes that were gleaming with tears of laughter, though his laughter had faded, his body pressed up against Harley’s, making it desperately difficult to ignore everything he had been trying so hard to. And yeah, it’s not like they hadn’t fell asleep cuddled up before, but that’s not the point. Peter didn’t _know_ then. 

Tony could practically see a hurricane swirling around the two of them, their brains being swooped up and thrown around by all their thoughts as they started at each other intimately. It was kinda awkward. He should save them, he guessed, and cleared his throat again while strolling towards the kitchen, where the c o f f e e was. This seemed to work: Peter jumped up to his feet and held his hand out to Harley, because no matter how painful it was he was raised to be kind. The other boy blinked, trying to catch up with what just happened, and then grabbed his hand and popped up to his feet too, way too close to Petey, so that he could feel his breath on his face and he took a quick step back before his thoughts got out of control again and he thought about something stupid like kissing him. 

The air around them felt different. Harley didn’t like it. So, naturally, he tried to fix it by grabbing an m&m and launching it at Peter’s face without warning, knowing that Peter’s spider sense would tell him how to move, only it didn’t, and it hit Peter right in the forehead before falling pathetically to the floor.  
“Um. I thought your tingle made you do that stuff automatically, how’d you miss?”  
Peter bristled and seemed to be contemplating his answer. “Well, um that’s not actually how I was catching them. I was just using my hearing and fast reflexes because the sixth sense only goes off around danger... and um, it doesn’t work around you?”  
Harley seemed stunned. “It ‘doesn’t work’ around me?” He questioned, and Peter wondered whether he had shared too much, but Harley felt warm swell inside of him.  
“Yeah, I guess because I trust you?”  
“Aw, darlin’ you trust me!”

‘Darling.’ ‘Spiderbaby.’ ‘Petey’ or ‘petey boo’. They slipped out his mouth without his brain’s permission and he apparently almost never called him by his actual name. Welp, couldn’t stop now (not that he necessarily wanted to) and Peter hadn’t said anything about it before, so maybe he liked it. Or hadn’t noticed. 

“Of course I trust you,” he said quietly, snapping Harley back to the present at which time he felt his heart would burst. He needed to diffuse the situation again.  
“Less than three, Petey boo,” he yelled while walking away for a dramatic exit, and he forced himself to not look back at Peter’s brown curls. God those curls. He had noticed them the first time they met- hadn’t he literally called him a cutie and not been joking?- so how the hell how was he idiotic enough to be so oblivious? (Peter was thinking the exact same thing, having a flashback to when he literally had the thought: “how can he be so hot with that dumb smirk”, which he promptly forgot about when they became friends- how convenient)

“Less than thr- did you just- say a heart at me out loud?”  
“Yes.” Harley deadpanned, turning and standing in the centre of the elevator and making brief eye contact before the doors shut.

Peter scoffed fondly and went into the kitchen in search of Tony, who he found asleep with his head on the counter, his arms hugging the coffee pot. He was probably trying to absorb it by osmosis, or something.


	12. MJ’s 17th

“You ready?”  
“Hell yea I am, Petey.”  
They crept up the corridor slowly, both with one hand behind their back, coming to a stop behind MJ who was emptying books into her locker, looking indifferent.  
“You are a dancing queen,” Peter whisper sang, making Michelle swivel round to face them.  
“Young and sweet,” Harley whispered theatrically, before both boys added, “Onllyyyy seventeeeeen!” MJ groaned, why did she know this was coming?  
“C’mon MJ I know you know it,” Peter smirked.  
“Dancing Queen,” Harley sang, “you aren’t getting your present off us unless you join in...”  
MJ rolled her eyes, faking annoyance, but she was actually glad they knew her well enough to whisper sing and not yell it down the corridors. She didn’t want the attention. “Dancing queen, MJ, do you not want your gift?”  
She sighed before singing lowly, “feel the beat from the tambouuriiine,” quite beautifully, but she couldn’t have sounded less enthusiastic, which made the boys laugh before singing “oh yeah!” A little louder. Then Peter thrust his hand out from behind his back, at the same time Harley tried to bring it in front of him, and their arms became twisted awkwardly and MJ tried not to snort as they fiddled and tugged until Peter ducked under Harley’s arm and span all the way around so that the bag was in front of them. They were clutching a small gift bag with red polka dots on it and pushed it towards the girl so she would take it.

“Happy birthday,” Peter said happily as Harley nodded in agreement, and MJ felt a wave of appreciation for them, for her friends.  
“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she insisted, but her usually strong, blunt voice was now soft and they knew that she was happy.  
“Open it!!!” Harley demanded, ignoring what she had said. 

Inside the bag was a thick sketchbook with good quality pages, a set of pencils to go with it, and a slip of paper that claimed her the owner of a tiger that Peter and Harley had adopted in her name. This also came with a little plushie of a soft orange striped tiger which her lips quirked up at slightly- her equivalent of cooing. She looked up at the two of them, her face still indifferent but her eyes gleaming with tears while she brushed her fingers over the endangered species leaflet that was stuck to the back of her adoption certificate, and she pulled them into a hug.  
“Thankyou,” she said sincerely before letting go and moving to walk away to pull herself together so that she didn’t actually start crying. That would’ve been embarrassing. But as she gripped the gift bag she couldn’t help a small smile to grace her face when she remembered how she ranted on about humans being destructive and endangered animals and the disrespect of it almost three months ago. They had remembered too, evidently. Maybe it was because she didn’t get outwardly passionate often, and that was the most she’d spoken in one lunchtime, but she didn’t care. 

She wanted to repay them, somehow. Maybe she’d use her new sketchbook to draw something for them. Oooh. No, she could draw the two of them, together, so that maybe they’d finally see how lovestruck they really were for each other. This, she didn’t really understand. They flirted relentlessly but seemed to think it was just a close friendship, which is fine, a close friendship like theirs is fine, acting like that with friends is fine, only... it usually comes without the lovey-look in their eyes when they look at the other... which kinda suggested. They were more than that.

⎊

Sally threw a house party two days after, and Ned insisted that they all go, it could be like a celebration for MJ’s birthday. She called him a loser, but agreed anyway. Peter and Harley were already bouncing in agreement before he even finished.

Later that day though, Ned, Harley and MJ sat on the sofa while loud, booming music played and Peter was nowhere to be seen. The trio had already been there for 40 minutes, and Harley was wondering if he had ditched before Ned brought up the fact that he was probably out spidermanning and would probably just be late unless there was something really important. (And he was, there was this annoying hostage situation that he had been trying to negotiate for way too long before he ended up fighting the guy anyway- waste of time, only not really because at least everyone ended up safe) 

To nobody’s surprise, Harley grew restless sitting down at the party. He turned to MJ, putting on an overly sweet face and asked her, “dance with me?” To which, to nobody’s surprise, she said no. He pouted and looked at Ned, who was getting ready to shake his head before Betty came bounding over and stole him away anyway. Harley’s expression grew even more distraught. “Petey would dance with me,” he muttered, missing the smirk on MJ’s face because a voice behind his head added breathlessly, “Yeah, he would.”

He swivelled round instantly to look at a disheveled Peter, his hair mussed up, supposedly from the mask, and looking like he had rushed (swung) over, and beamed at him. “Petey boo! You made it, then?”  
Peter blew out a breath, “Yeah, sorry, there was a hostage situation I couldn’t really leave.”  
“You can tell me about it later. Did you know no one would dance with me? Isn’t that rude?” Harley grinned at him, already knowing the other boy’s response.  
“So rude,” he said, holding out his hand for the blonde who clutched it eagerly and was pulled to his feet so that they could move towards the mass of jumping teenagers. 

They swayed to the beat, belting out the lyrics and jumped around, but were gradually pressed closer together by the surrounding crowd on the dance floor that was Sally’s living room. Both of them were just in the moment, not letting themselves think, just having fun and that was the scene, MJ decided. She could kind of see them through gaps of bodies when they moved, so she kicked her feet up on the sofa and took a bite out of her randomly acquired toast and began to draw. 

She mostly did sketches, as proven my her many scratches of faces in crisis, but she made sure to capture the exact atmosphere and expressions on their faces in this drawing, because they were important to her, and they needed to see how important they were to each other. 

After half an hour of dancing, Harley (and Peter too, since he had been patrolling right before hand) was absolutely exhausted and he flopped his arm around Peter’s shoulders to keep upright, and Peter wrapped his arm around Harley’s waist to keep _himself_ upright, and they stumbled to get drinks before landing back on the sofa. They gulped greedily before Peter got a glimpse of MJ’s hand movements. “Ooh, are you drawing? Can we see?” He asked enthusiastically.  
“Actually,” she added a couple more strokes, “I’m done.” Then she pulled the page out of the book causing Peter and Harley to make noises of shock and protest before seeing that she was holding it out to them, not defiling her brand new sketchbook. Peter took it off her and held it between himself and Harley to see, and froze upon seeing the subject of her art.  
“It-it’s us,” he stated, not looking up from the page, taking in the way his arms were thrown in the air in glee as he copied Harley’s movements, who was not inches away from him in the picture. He looked like he was trying to inhale Harley or something. He gulped. “MJ, this is- you are so talented. It’s amazing.”  
“It’s for you two,” she clarified, analysing the way that Peter looked up to Harley to see if he really looked like that in real life, or whether he was really that close to him and didn’t- 

He snapped his head to the left quickly when he heard Ned’s footsteps and jumped up, mumbling, “Can I talk to you,” before dragging him away before he had the chance to sit. Once they were out of earshot, Peter burst.  
“I have a problem!”  
“Does it happen to be your ever growing crush on ‘Harls’?” Ned teased knowingly, causing Peter to stutter before accepting his fate.  
“Was it that obvious?” He grimaced.  
“Yes.”  
“What am I supposed to do? I tried ignoring it but that didn’t work for too long because he’s always _there_ and I can’t exactly tell him either.”  
Ned was thinking, Thor why? But didn’t betray his exasperation as he calmly asked, “Why not?”  
“I know Harley would be cool about it, he wouldn’t un friend me or anything because he’s not like that, but things would be different. And I don’t want them to be, we just get each other, and I don’t want it to suddenly be awkward when we could be pranking all the avengers instead.”  
“Ok, but you’re not considering the fact that Harley likes you back,” Ned tried to say smoothly, but he was pretty sure a little bit of force slipped into his tone accidentally.  
“I’d consider that if we had just met and weren’t already friends. I don’t think I could risk it, Ned.” 

While all this was going on, Peter had left Harley sitting with the drawing between his fingers; he still didn’t look up from it.  
“Tell him,” MJ instructed, regarding him carefully.

He finally looked up at her face. “Tell him what?” He asked, confused, but he had a hint of what she meant.  
“You need to tell him or it’s going to eat you alive.”  
Harley sighed. “Maybe,” he mumbled, looking over to the side where Peter was chatting with Ned animatedly.


	13. Wanda likes icing

FRIDAY announced that everyone was wanted in the common room. If asked, she didn’t elaborate, insisting that it was a surprise. One by one, the avengers gathered round on the seats, giving each other questioning looks but no one knew what was happening. 

Then Peter and Harley emerged from the kitchen- if you could even call them that anymore. They looked like they had tried to take a bath in icing sugar; it was all over their faces and arms and they were both giggling while clutching a cake in between them.  
“We made a cake!” They exclaimed as one, practically galloping over to the table to plop it down in front of the team, who didn’t know what they were expecting, but it sure wasn’t this. 

“Is it edible?” Tony teased, and Harley shot him an offended glare and Peter looked at him as if he had been betrayed, even pulling out the innocent puppy eyes. That made him feel slightly guilty. 

Wanda asked, “What’s the occasion?”  
“There isn’t one. We just wanted to make a cake... do you guys not want our cake?” Peter said sadly, and Steve picked up the knife and prepared to cut the desert while saying, “Of course we do. I bet it’s-“ 

BANG!

Everyone apart from Natasha (and Peter and Harley, who grinned like madmen) jumped violently as chunks of icing flew through the air, splattering at least half of the team, leaving behind pathetic pieces of orange rubber on the plate as the balloon burst as soon as Steve pressed his knife into it. 

Steve looked shocked, but Tony scowled, his cheeks smeared with cake decoration, “You tried to make me feel guilty!” The boys laughed and laughed as most of the avengers looked ready to murder a couple of teenagers, apart from Wanda who wiped her nose with her finger, licked it, and exclaimed, “hey this icing is pretty good!” 

Sam shot up to his feet without warning and dove for the two pranksters, yelling “You little shits!” but missed as Peter grabbed Harley’s hand and squirmed away. “You can run, but you can’t hide in this tower,” Sam threatened.

“Maybe not, but you can’t reach us.” And with that, Harley wrapped himself around Peter like a koala again, and Peter bent his knees and pounced, easily jumping high enough to reach the high ceiling and clung to it by his fingertips and toes. Harley looked down at the team, stuck his tongue out mockingly and laughed triumphantly. 

“Having a spider best friend is great. See ya suckers!!” And they scuttled away from the room, leaving behind a bunch of disgruntled adults, and Wanda. She lifted her finger to her tongue again, before Tony scowled at her, making her slowly move her finger back down to her lap sheepishly. 

⎊

Peter dropped down off the ceiling inside his room, landing carefully as to not shake Harley. As soon as they looked at each other, they burst into laughter again.  
“Harls, yo-you’re covered in-“  
“Petey, you got a little-“  
Harley reached up and shook Peter’s hair, making white powder rain from his brown waves, and Peter did the same to Harley’s. They left a patch of icing sugar on the floor, and it was still all over their faces. Harley wanted to lick it off. _No, brain,_ he bristled, and muttered about needing the toilet before stepping back from Petey and practically running away.

Poor Peter was left there on his own wondering if he did something wrong.


	14. wii didn’t win

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I don’t reply to comments very much bc I’m awkward but honestly I appreciate your responses so much!! Everytime I read one it makes me smile and laugh so much, I love seeing your reactions so thankyouu

Sam and Bucky were no longer sitting on the couch, jumping up in front of the TV and yelling obscenities as they gripped their wii remotes passionately when ‘parley’ (as Sam liked to call them since that day they started talking as one being, because if they acted like that they only deserved one name) walked in. Their faces lit up in glee when they saw mario kart on the TV and waited for the two men to finish their game.

Bucky cheered, celebrating his win, and Sam groaned “I hate you,” while the other man ignored him and continued to rub it in that he came first.

“Can we join in?” Parley asked in unison, only for Sam’s benefit since they knew how much he loved it when they spoke like this. Sam squinted at them, but Bucky nodded and thrust two controllers towards them. They started a new round, all four of them fighting to pick yoshi, who Peter managed to claim, leaving the others grumbling. Harley picked Princess Peach, which Peter exhale-laughed at, evoking a defensive “What? You wish you were as badass as princess peach.” 

Peter held his hands up, surrendering, “woah, Princess, I did not mean to insinuate that she wasn’t. She totally is,” he said while a part of his brain giggled at teasing Harley while the other part yelled _what are you doing?!!!_. He’d gotten pretty good at ignoring this inner battle and just going with the flow, it was more fun/less painful for him but also kept the friendship from being forced. 

Harley smirked and the countdown flashed up on the screen. “Yeah, and this _Princess_ is gonna beat your ass at mariokart.” 

⎊

Sam cackled at the look on Parley’s faces when they finished 11th and 12th at the end of the race, due to the fact that they had each been so focused on knocking each other off the racetrack instead of actually driving the racetrack to win. After that they changed the game to wii sports before someone would commit murder, and they chose a game of tennis; Peter and Sam against Harley and Bucky. 

As all things, it started completely normal, but Peter and Harley hated being at the front of the pitch, because “they never get the chance to hit the ball” meanwhile Sam and Bucky were having a nice calm little rally. So when Harley had the chance, he took it, and his mii dove for the ball and returned it over the net before it could bounce, and Peter did the same, and soon enough they were hitting the ball instantly after it had been hit and the boys in real life had moved forward, violently waving their wii remotes without stopping so that their mii characters looked crazy, rackets waving everywhere, and the sound the ball made when it was hit was no longer every two seconds, it was constant. Parley had their faces scrunched up while their arms began to ache, but they didn’t stop shaking the remotes, and Sam and Bucky shared a look. Seems like the only thought that Sam could have around those two was “what the fuck”.

The two men leaned back on the couch as the events unfolded before them. If they were with anyone else, they would’ve probably struck up a conversation. Eventually though, one of them missed and the ball bounced further back onto the pitch, and bounced again, signalling the end of that particular rally. Peter swivelled round to yell at Sam for missing the ball, but upon doing so he saw that neither of them were even holding their remotes anymore as they just sat there and raised their eyebrows at the teens.  
“And what,” Bucky started, “was that?!”  
“That was a real man’s match,” Harley grinned at them.  
“Sorry, _princess_ ,” Sam looked pointedly at Peter at that who blushed, before turning back to Harley, “I don’t think you can call whatever the fuck that was, tennis.” 

Peter and Harley both grabbed cushions from the other sofa and launched them at Sam and Bucky’s faces. They both hit their targets, and as the pillows fell down into their laps, Sam and Bucky shared another look before gripping the edges of said pillows and running towards their attackers, ready to whack them.  
“PILLOW FIGHT!” Peter and Harley yelled in sync, while Peter bent to the side to avoid being hit and Harley ducked to avoid a swing to the face and then they each grabbed their own pillows to retaliate. The sound of pillows smacking pillows vibrated through the entire room and they dove at each other, trying to land a hit. 

This lasted for five minutes, all of them had been thoroughly beaten at least twice with poofy material, before they all surrendered, slumping to the floor, tired. 

Ding!

Tony stepped out the elevator, walking towards them. “Why did I buy these lovely pieces of furniture if you prefer the floor?” He teased.

With heavy movements, Harley grabbed one of the cushions that was scattered on the floor and threw it at Tony, his arm dropping back to his side after it left his hold as if he couldn’t raise it for any longer. The edge of it hit his shoulder, the man just standing there watching it fly past him with a “Wow. Ungrateful demon child, maybe I should take away your bed, see if you manage to land a pillow to my face.” 

“Hey, don’t talk to my princess like that!”

It just slipped out. God, Harley and all his dumb pet names that he definitely did not like must be rubbing off on him. 

Tony blinked, raising an eyebrow. Surely they knew by now, right? 

Harley giggled, “You actually shut him up.” 

Evoking a sigh from Tony (and an internal one from Peter) who walked to the kitchen without entertaining them further. Peter swivelled round on his bum to face Sam and Bucky to ask them if they wanted to go train, to which they replied that he had ‘an annoying amount of energy’ and was ‘a freaky spider kid’ and ‘no’.

Harley pouted. “Why didn’t you ask me if I wanted to train with you?”  
Peter raised an eyebrow. “Do you?” 

No. Harley did not. Not only did he know that Peter would show him up instantly because of his powers, but he didn’t want to see Peter in action, or breathless, or shirtless or anything that could fuel his fantasies.  
“Yes.” 

_Internal facepalm._

⎊

Harley was really just entertaining Peter here, as the spiderboy easily flipped over his head and dodged kicks and only threw weak punches in return so that he didn’t hurt him. And Harley knew he was outmatched, _obviously_ , but he was still a little offended. Peter was not even breaking a sweat. 

Harley wanted it to be over before he started heaving heavily or something embarrassing like that, so he threw a really obvious punch right in front of him, directly to Peter’s chest, when Peter gripped it out of the air before it could touch him, twisted his arm around, and so quickly that Harley didn’t even know how he did it, had him pinned to the floor. 

There they were, once again, Peter on top of Harley, which is exactly what he was hoping to avoid. But, considering that during their friendship he had settled himself onto Peter’s lap and had actually clung to him like a koala on more than one occasion without blinking, this shouldn’t really be surprising, and he should be used to it? But now the skin on the insides of his wrists were tingling where Peter held them above his head and he guessed that he wouldn’t ever really get used to it. He watched as a faint flush climbed onto Peter’s cheeks, mirroring the one that he figured was most likely on his face too, and seeing that gave him a random rush of confidence.

Fuck it.

MJ told him to tell him, and he trusted her entirely, but there was no way he was gonna do that. But he could do the next best thing- step it up a notch, and try to figure out where Peter stood. 

“You seem to like being on top of me.” 

Peter blinked. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

“Cat got your tongue?” He teased, feeling kinda bad about it but not really as he relished in the embarrassed look on his Petey’s face.

“O-oh um, sorry,” Peter coughed, pushing himself up to his feet after a moment. 

Hmmm. Well that wasn’t entirely fruitful, but Harley wasn’t one to give up, especially not after his expression.


	15. You can’t save everybody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know where this came from or why, in the midst of pranks and teasing and everything lighthearted, I decided to add this? I just end up writing whatever ideas pop into my head so,, I’m sorry that this isn’t really the same as the rest... (next chap will be back to fun stuff) lol whoops

Harley was leaning back on Peter’s bed, his legs bent and one of them folded over the top of the other comfortably as if this was his space while he waited for Pete to get in. The room was quiet, eerily so, and Harley needed Peter to be back nowww so that they could plan their next attack. He was getting bored as the sky grew steadily darker, the sun sinking lower and lower as he scrolled down his Instagram feed for the thousandth time. 

He was definitely impatient, about to ask FRIDAY if she could ask KAREN to ask Peter to come home already, when the window slid open and a red and blue spider crawled into the room. Harley looked up excitedly, starting to exclaim, “Hey spiderbaby, you-“ 

But once Peter’s feet hit the floor Harley cut himself off. The other boy’s shoulders were slumped in defeat, his head facing the floor as if he couldn’t look up, and even though his face was masked he gave off an aura of complete despair. He stood there in his bedroom like that for a moment, and it was scaring Harley, who gave a tentative, “Pete?” 

At this, Peter looked up at Harley and instantly his chest started heaving, his body shaking with sobs and Harley rushed forward to take him into his arms. He hugged Peter tightly, rubbing his back soothingly as the other boy sobbed into his neck. Harley realised that, even though he could feel Peter’s face, he wasn’t getting wet, so he pulled back for a second to gently take off his mask before he suffocated or something. It couldn’t have been comfortable to have soggy material clinging to his face anyway. 

Harley didn’t say anything. He just held him, guided him to sit on the bed, made sure he knew that he was there for him and that they were safe until Peter was ready to talk. He knew that it would’ve been pointless to try and comfort him without knowing what was wrong first, so he just let him feel his company for a while, for as long as he needed. 

Once Peter’s sobs eventually stopped, he pulled back from Harley’s grasp, opened his mouth and started to say “I’m sorry” but before he could finish the word Harley growled.  
“Don’t dare apologise.”  
And Peter’s mouth snapped shut.

He looked at the other boy’s red, swollen eyes and sniffing nose and gently asked him, “What happened Pete?” 

And he told him. He told him all about his patrol and how he landed in front of the terrified little girl who was being pushed into a van by these men, and how the look on her face transformed entirely to display pure joy and complete _trust_ in Spider-Man, who had no doubt come to save her, and how this young and bubbly face then became streaked with hot and wet crimson and how her eyes became lifeless and dull and how he failed to save her. And how it was his fault. 

Harley, who had let a tear roll down his cheek as Peter’s retelling progressed, grabbed Peter’s wrists at this and pinned his gaze with a fiery look in his eyes. “No, Peter. It wasn’t your fault. Did you point that gun at that girl’s head?”  
“No, but I-“  
“No, you were the one who had come to save her,” he ploughed on as if Peter hadn’t spoken. “She knew that you were a hero, her hero, Peter.”  
“But I didn’t save her,” he choked out.  
“A hero can’t always save everybody. You always try your best, you willingly risk your life almost everyday for complete strangers and you’ve saved countless lives- there are so many people who are walking around today that wouldn’t be without you. But that’s all you can do, Peter. Life isn’t in your control, and you can do everything you can to try and preserve it, to help others, to use your powers for good- all of which, you do- but nobody can save everybody. What you did today was brave, and even though you couldn’t save her, you might’ve stopped her from enduring worse at the hands of those men, so at least she died free,”  
“But-“  
“I’m not explaining away her death, or saying it was a good thing. It was a tragedy, and you should be sad, we all should be, but what I’m saying is that you can’t feel guilty. _It wasn’t your fault._ ”

He didn’t know how much of that actually sank in, but he used his thumb to wipe away the tears from Peter’s cheek and Peter nodded slightly before diving back into Harley’s embrace. Harley felt his breath as he spoke on the back of his neck.  
“Can you stay?” He whispered, choking back a sob, vulnerability evident in his shaking words.

_I’d do anything for you._  
“Of course,” he whispered back instead, and as they lay back onto Peter’s plump pillows, FRIDAY turned off the lamp so that the only brightness in the room came from the gentle moonlight and city lights through the window. Peter fell asleep to warmth surrounding him and nails gently scratching through his hair, feeling down but Harley was making it better; Harley fell asleep to Peter’s purring and gradually slowing breaths.


	16. The boy(s) who lived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I get really impatient when I get an idea so I’m sorry my writing isn’t that detailed but I just get excited ok

Peter definitely felt better about the whole thing after Harley’s words and after he fell asleep, but sometimes he still had flashes of guilt and sadness that threatened to overwhelm him. Only, they never did, because Harley was always there. Harley could tell almost instantly whenever this happened as if they _had_ made that telepathic communication device and he knew exactly how to comfort Peter when he needed it, or distract him. 

The flirting thing he had decided to “step up” was actually a pretty good distraction, as it turned out, but lately Harley had been too focused on the actual flirting rather than Peter’s reactions, so he still didn’t know what the other boy felt. Whoops.

Currently, they were down in the lab, because after watching Harry Potter they felt the need to make the Invisibility Cloak (as you do). Surprisingly, the invisible part wasn’t actually the problem- they could easily use the retro reflective panels that were known to disappear giant SHIELD helicarriers to blend in their surroundings seamlessly. No, the problem was how they were meant to see through said cloak and not bump into every wall or table or door. 

“I mean, we could just wing it, and if we were in real danger my Spidey-sense-“  
“Peter tingle.”  
“-would tell me? But then if we couldn’t see we’d be too noisy and then the avengers would know we were there.”  
“Let’s just cut eye holes.”  
“...eye holes.”

Harley held his gaze over the table where their cloak lay. 

“Okay,” Peter agreed, and Harley beamed at him.  
“Let’s do this, darlin.”

⎊

The four blinking eyes were almost imperceptible if Parley walked quietly enough- they had to get all their giggles out before they started their journey. They shuffled into the common room where most of the avengers were chilling out, a pair of bright blue eyes floating right next to honey brown ones (Harley had to bend down a little since he was a bit taller which was slightly uncomfortable but this was totally gonna be worth it). No one noticed. 

Harley swiped Bruce’s drink off the table when no one was looking. Three minutes later, Peter and Harley had to put hands over each other’s mouths to stop them from laughing audibly at Bruce’s look of utter confusion.  
“Did someone take my drink?” He asked, and when everyone turned to look at Bruce to reply Peter took this opportunity to steal Bucky’s book that he had put down on his lap. 

Bucky screamed. 

“Where’d my book go?!” He screeched over the team’s laughter. 

“Aw, old man is already losing his memory, forgetting where you put your book down?” Sam snarked at him, and Bucky snarled.  
“It was literally on my lap you buffoon,”  
“You grandpa, you-“  
But then Sam froze too, as the tv remote he was holding had disappeared from his hand and he hadn’t noticed while he had been waving his arms at Bucky. 

“See?!” 

It was getting more difficult to move around, because not only were they huddled together, they also now had to juggle holding the cloak over their heads, a drink, a book and a remote without letting anything slip with a clang to the floor. They walked round to the table and sat on it, surreptitiously placing all the items next to them. Wanda saw the returned objects first, her face looking alarmed, saying “Wha-“ and then she screamed at the floating eyes; everyone jumped and followed her gaze and screamed too. FRIDAY had the job of filming the entire team screeching like little children. 

It was Tony who came to first, recognising the blinking blue and brown eyes and he started throwing things at them.  
“Shitheads!” 

“ITS SHI-THEAD!” They giggled at their reference that the angry man definitely did not get before prodding Tony in the side (who obviously couldn’t see it coming, and jerked to the side with a shriek) and running away to the elevator. 

“Ah. Peter and Harley, our resident ghost.” Natasha smirked. 

The team erupted. They were terrified that their own personal pranksters had the literal ability of being invisible, and utterly confused and terrified at how they did. Nothing could save them.


	17. The English language has legs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is another bby chapter for u. I didn’t really know what else to write because my mind is stuck on a different chapter’s idea...

Peter had just swung in through his window that FRIDAY had ever so graciously opened for him, and he pulled off his mask once his feet landed on the floor. Cool air hit his face as he strolled down the corridor to find Harls. Usually the blonde was already in his room, waiting for him to get back from patrol, but today he had cut it short and come back early due to the fact that literally nothing was happening on the streets today for some reason. The biggest thing he’d done this afternoon was give a lady some directions. 

It was quite silent, his feet not making much noise as he walked quickly but with Spider-Man’s grace, and when he turned the corner it shocked him that he had to stop abruptly to narrowly avoid bumping into the very person he was looking for. Who had a towel wrapped around his hips, and very soggy, floppy hair that was a darker blonde than usual, almost brown.

“Petey! You’re back early?” 

‘Petey’ suddenly had a very dry mouth. He could literally sense the droplets of water that were rolling down Harley’s chest and it took everything he had to look at his face, not his body, but Harley’s bright blue eyes were just as unsettling, they seemed piercing, and it felt like he was looking into Peter’s soul. He needed to answer. 

Clearing his throat and attempting to be nonchalant, he responded, “yeah, there was nothing going on.”

Harley hummed. Peter was definitely acting a little flustered (and no, that did not delight him and make his chest warm, why would you say that) and Harley got that rush of hope again. Deep down, he kinda knew by now how Peter felt, but he was also in denial and this was also very fun. 

With a smirk, he popped his hip and added, “So you came back to me, how sweet of you sugar.” 

Peter gulped. _dontlookdowndontlookdown_ his brain chanted, but looking up at Harley’s face wasn’t exactly any better, what with that _stupid_ smirk stretched across his lips and oh god focusing on Harley’s lips wasn’t a good idea when Peter was ready to jump his bones. Words had left him. He was betrayed, left alone to suffer, the English language had fled.  
“Mmhmm,” he said dazedly. 

Why’d he have to take off the dumb mask before this interaction? He wished he could hide his face right now; If he hadn’t already, Harley would figure out why he was acting so weird or why he was blushing so hard. Why was this happening to him? Why only now, and not at the pool?

“...well, gorgeous, I’m going to go put some clothes on...” Harley said, amused and taking agonisingly slow steps towards his room, leaving Peter to have his crisis in peace. What the hell. 

I mean, it was bad enough that he was stood there, dripping wet and in nothing but a towel, but he also had to do that annoying pet name thing and the smirk thing that Peter wished he would _stop_ (Peter did not wish he would stop- he wished Harley meant it (which he did, but Peter didn’t know that)). 

For the rest of that day Harley was relentlessly smug and kept thinking up new ways to give Peter aneurisms, to the point where Peter almost snapped and attacked his hot fucking face with kisses when Harley threw his head back and laughed that laugh that Peter did _not_ love, and he literally had to use his sticky fingers to keep himself attached to the desk, staying at least 5 feet away from Harley at all times. 

He doesn’t remember what they were working on, or how he managed to respond without stuttering. His brain was just harleyharleyharley.


	18. Otters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve written the next few chapters but I’m running out of ideass :( I hate writers block

It was morning. Harley’s favourite time of day(!) He had to stumble through the living area to get to the kitchen, his hand dragging across the wall for as long as possible to support him and his eyes still half shut meaning he didn’t see that someone was there until he was right in front of them. 

He rubbed his blurry, droopy eyes. “Who?” Was all he could manage.

He heard a familiar giggle in response, but this time it was thick with something else. 

“Your morning face is so cute,” Peter said to him, and his voice sounded more delicate than usual. Harley figured out the reason why when he finally was able to open his eyes the whole way, seeing Peter teary eyed, but not looking very upset. 

“You okay, darlin?” He drawled, still drowsy and not awake enough to register Pete’s last comment but awake enough for his concern for him to be growing. 

“Your accent is also always stronger just after you wake up,” Peter giggled, and a tear escaped his eye and trickled down slowly. 

Harley sat down next to Peter on the sofa and grabbed his hand. “Is everything ok? I mean, I was worried you were upset or something because, you’re crying, but you’re also giggling? Are these happy tears?” 

Peter looked down at their clasped hands. Then up at Harley’s face. 

“Wanda sent me a post saying that otters hold hands while they sleep so that they don’t drift away from each other, and the picture was so cute.” 

Harley blinked.

“And now you’re holding my hand as if we’re the otters!”

“ _That’s_ why you’re crying?”  
Peter nodded, his brown waves flopping up and down with the motion, and his shiny eyes wide as if he expected Harley to start crying too.

“You are so adorable.”

Peter slapped Harley’s shoulder half heartedly and laughed again. “You haven’t seen the picture yet.” 

Peter pulled out his phone and showed him the screen which displayed the picture of the two otters holding hands while floating on their backs side by side, and it was indeed cute, but Harley couldn’t help but think that Peter was cuter. And then Pete went ahead and squeezed his hand as if to say ‘I’ll never drift away’ and Harley is 99.9% sure that he melted. The action was so totally cringe and cliché but Harley loved it entirely. He knew Peter wasn’t leaving.


	19. Kidnap me? Lol no

Tony was surprised that the floor had not worn away underneath Harley’s pacing feet. He was walking back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. 

“You seem stressed.”  
“Thanks, it’s the stress,” Harley snarked back, and Tony thought maybe he deserved that one. 

Peter had vanished. Poof. Into thin air. One second, he was telling Harley to wait inside Happy’s car for him, and the next second he was gone, not returning even though they waited, like he asked him to, for ages. Yes, he knew it was very much like Peter to disappear and ditch for Spider-Man stuff that he can’t leave alone (bless his pure little heart) and he had convinced himself that this was what happened on the car journey back. Only, when he did reach the tower, FRIDAY said that Karen had not been activated since yesterday. So Peter had not ditched to Spider-Man. Cue Harley’s panic. 

He knew that his pacing was annoying Tony, maybe making him more worried too, but it was probably the only thing keeping him from hyperventilating. Where had Peter gone? Why couldn’t they contact him? Was he in danger? 

A small comforting thought was that Peter literally was superhuman. He was way more durable than the average teenage boy, and this was a good thing. But Harley also knew that heroes could get hurt too; it wasn’t impossible to capture captain America or to injure iron man. He just begged that he was safe- or at least, not hurt. He refused to believe he could ever be dead. 

So Harley continued his pacing while Tony waited for FRIDAY to find the kid. They were going to find him.

⎊

Peter was quite bored. These guys were clearly amateurs: he could probably break out of these restraints even if he didn’t have super strength. Thing was, he had to go with them, pretending to struggle, because he didn’t want them to find out he was Spider-Man. He was determined to break free without them figuring it out.

He just wished that they would look away, just for two seconds. There were four guys, all dressed in black, and only one of them seemed bright enough to keep his eyes on Peter while they talked out their plan. Shouldn’t they have figured it out before they kidnapped him? 

Peter had to physically stop himself from saying this out loud; he didn’t want to draw attention to himself. It would be painfully easy to free himself, he knew, but he forced himself to wait. Just a little longer. 

Eventually one of the guys said something dumb enough to evoke the leader to turn and look at him, annoyed, exclaiming out a ‘shut up!’

This was all Peter needed. When they turned to look back at the chair where he sat, he was no longer there, leaving behind three spluttering, confused men and one angry one. 

Peter strolled casually out of the doors once he knew he was out of sight, and he ducked into an alley to pull out his suit (he had grabbed his bag that they left by the door on his way out) and got dressed quickly before he returned to the room where the men had not processed his disappearance fast enough to flee. 

He lowered himself for the ceiling slowly by a web, calling out, “Kidnapping is not cool, guys,” and had them webbed to the floor before they could begin to move. They looked dumbstruck; Peter almost giggled. He jumped and flipped himself over through the air to land on his feet, before giving them a little wave and swung himself away. 

⎊

“I have an update, boss,” FRIDAY’s voice echoed through the room, making Tony and Harley perk up in an instant, eagerly waiting to hear it. However, before she could elaborate, the elevator dinged and Peter walked out, sipping a milkshake casually, looking completely unbothered. 

Tony blinked. Harley ran forward and flung himself onto Peter. His arms tightly clasped around his neck, he squeezed him a little before pulling back. “You idiot! I was so worried, we thought you had been kidnapped, and you just come strolling through here?!” 

“I was,” Peter replied, “I brought you back a milkshake.” 

“What?” 

“Milkshake!” He said, holding it out for Harley to take.

“You were kidnapped?!”

“Oh yeah, it was really boring.”

“It wa- okay.” He took a deep breath in. “How are you so unbothered?”

“Because I was just waiting for the right moment to break free without them seeing.”

Harley smirked and pushed Peter’s shoulder. “I was so worried, you moron.”

“I thought I was your darling,” Peter smirked back, sipping his milkshake like they were talking about school or food or a lab project, not Peter’s kidnapping. “Are you going to take this or do I get two?”

Harley grabbed the cup, his panic completely dissolving as if he couldn’t believe he had ever doubted Peter’s ability. “Come on then, darlin, let’s go create some more trouble.”

Tony was just stood there, frozen and observing from a distance. The kids had disregarded Peter’s abduction so quickly that he felt dizzy (and offended, that he spent so long looking for him when he was perfectly fine).  
He was so done.


	20. Party pooper

They crept along the corridor towards the common room, silently hoping that they could catch someone individually. Floating eyes drifted through the air, their feet invisible as they clutched their weapons under the cloak. They had four of them. Four opportunities to scare the crap out of some avengers.

When they turned the corner and the eyes were floating in the doorway they spied Rhodey and Sam discussing some army thing, unknowingly becoming the next targets of some chaotic teenagers. Peter and Harley walked forward together until they were stood right behind the sofa they were sitting on, remaining undetected, and Harley snook his hand out from under the cloak to pull the first party popper that went off with a small bang. 

The two men jumped so high in shock that they almost fell off the sofa while confetti and party string fell through the air around them, Sam gasping and Rhodey jerking into a defensive stance that made the two boys fold over in laughter. 

The victims heard footsteps pounding out the door and giggling gradually getting further away and they scowled at the air, shaking glitter off their heads. 

⎊

They found their next victim carrying herself through the corridors with purpose after emerging from the bathroom, her shoulder length red hair swooshing behind her out of respect. Harley and Peter followed her, trying to keep up with her pace while also being quiet, and then Peter slithered his hand out to pull the string. 

At exactly the same time his hand jerked down, before the bang echoed through the hall, Natasha span around to face them, absolutely no surprise in her expression as colourful string and confetti launched into her face. She raised an eyebrow, keeping the rest of her face scarily blank. 

“Boo, she knew we were there,” Peter said to Harley, turning his face to look at him under the cloak- a movement he regretted once he realised how close their faces were under the material, noses almost brushing, his cheeks heating up as he quickly looked away again. 

“What a party pooper,” Harley whined, not as convincing as intended as the sight of Peter’s blushing face inches from his was burned into his eyelids, but it still made Peter giggle and Natasha roll her eyes, so not too bad apparently. 

Natasha looked right into their eyes and they felt strangely exposed, even with their bodies invisible. They felt as if she was pinning them with her gaze, keeping them rooted to the spot before she turned and strutted away. 

⎊

Next, they found Bucky and Clint in the kitchen, Bucky standing by the counter making sandwiches and Clint sitting up on the counter, swinging his legs happily while sipping his cup of coffee. Bucky was pretending to be annoyed at Clint’s rambling but you could tell he wasn’t actually irritated as he shook his head. 

BANG! And that wasn’t really the case anymore. 

Bucky jumped a little, his hands squishing the sandwich he was holding. Not a very dramatic reaction. Clint, on the other hand, squealed and somehow managed to slide off the counter, dropping his coffee in the process (which spilt all over Bucky’s sandwich), landing on the floor with a thump. His “Aw, coffee, no,” quickly morphed into a “ooh party!” once he saw the confetti settling around him. He started making snow angels in it. 

Peter and Harley had been desperately trying not to burst out with laughter but the look on Bucky’s face sent them over the edge. He first looked offended and distraught at his soggy sandwich but then he saw Clint on the floor and his face was horrified. Peter wheezed for FRIDAY to save a picture of this moment, clutching Harley’s arm as he tried not to collapse in his fit of giggles. 

⎊

Their last one, and they had waited for the opportunity to present itself. They roamed the hall outside many shut doors wondering who would be next, and then Steve stepped out of Wanda’s room, leaving the door wide open and walking towards the elevator. 

Wanda stood in the middle of her room, looking down at something clutched in her hand that they were too far away to see. She was distracted, which was good, they knew they could get a good shock out of her. 

They crept behind her and pulled the string. And suddenly they were thrown across the room by red tendrils of energy, landing hard against the wall, the cloak slipping off a little. Wanda had her hand outstretched but quickly slammed it to her mouth once she realised what she had done, ignoring the party string in her hair as she ran over to them. 

“Ow.”  
“Oh my god, are you okay?!”  
Harley groaned and rubbed the back of his head with the limb that wasn’t being crushed by Peter and nodded half heartedly.

“I am so so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that, I just got a fright,” she added guiltily, but Peter shook his head.  
“It’s our fault. That was just your reaction,” he struggled to push himself up before a smirk grew on his face. 

She exhaled with relief before relaxing and slumping down next to them, not without noting how they had untangled themselves but still remained settled extremely close to each other, completely in the other’s space as if that was the only place they were comfortable. It was also really weird to see half of their bodies, the other half disguised with the cloak making it look like they had been maimed.

She then noticed all the confetti in her room and turned to give them a piece of her mind for creating such a mess, but she turned to see nothing. They had already gone. _Of course they have,_ she thought bitterly.


	21. hold the fuck up,,,

Harley walked over tiredly and slumped down onto the bench, laying down and draping his head across Peter’s lap before sighing and saying, “History class is going to be the death of me.”

Peter absentmindedly began to run his fingers through the boy’s blonde hair while he complained, looking down at his face and nodding when required. Harley was gazing up at the ceiling, mouth moving a mile a minute, waving his hands around while the other played with his hair. The brunette wasn’t even thinking when he started feeding Harley the grapes off his lunch tray, just letting him chew, continue ranting for a while while he popped a grape into his own mouth before giving Harley another. 

MJ and Ned paused with their forks halfway to their mouths and shared a look. Suddenly it was like they weren’t even there anymore, just spectators to the domestic scene in front of them. 

Gradually Harley’s ranting died down and they were left talking about other stuff, currently lab stuff.

“And Tony said that our design for the new web shooters for my suit was incredible and-“  
“Hold the fuck up,” Harley interrupted, and before he could continue Peter stilled the fingers in his hair and added, “I already am.” 

MJ and Ned let out an “oof” while Harley was just left there blinking up at Peter. He stared for a moment before pouting and saying, “ _ouch_ ,” dramatically throwing a hand to his chest as if in pain.  
“So that’s how it is,” Harley challenged, pushing himself up off Peter to a sitting position and glaring at him while Peter just grinned. “You’re gonna regret that darlin.”  
“Am I?” Peter returned, still smiling. 

Harley made a grab for his grapes on the lunch table, ignoring the “nooo my grapes!” And proceeded to throw them at Peter’s face. Peter scowled at him and raised his hands, wiggling his fingers menacingly (well, as menacingly as you can wiggle your fingers...) causing Harley to yelp and jump up off the bench in an instant.

That’s how MJ and Ned became the spectators to two teenagers chasing each other through the high school cafeteria. And barely anyone even batted an eye, just took a glance and continued munching their lunch. High school was weird. 

Peter and Harley ended up racing through the corridors, feet pounding and breathing hard, running as fast as they could on the squeaky, slippy floor. There wasn’t ever that big of a gap between them- yes, Peter was fast but these floors were not grippy enough and Harley was a quick little shit damn it- as they panted up the stairs and continued running through deserted corridors when Harley stopped abruptly, Peter almost running into his back. There was a teacher ahead of them leaving her classroom; Harley turned and grabbed Peter’s hand, looked around frantically and dragged them through the nearest door to avoid being seen letting it shut quietly behind them. 

He didn’t know it was the janitors closet until they were standing in the dark, pressed against one another. He just wanted to avoid a detention. 

They were breathing heavily into each other’s faces with no room to move back, their lips would be practically touching if it wasn’t for their slight height difference, just stared into each other’s eyes as they waited. They didn’t dare to talk, keeping silent as the teacher walked past the door and the footsteps clicked further into the distance. Harley wanted to reach up and push back the stubborn brown tuft of hair that had flopped down onto Peter’s face but his hand was trapped. In Peter’s hand. They were still holding hands. 

His first instinct was to drop it as if it had burned him (well no, that’s a lie, his first thought was to pull Peter’s hand towards him and wrap his arms around the guy’s body but that’s not the point okay) but he was trying to flirt, purposefully now, he reminded himself, and so he did not let go and watched Peter’s face carefully. 

He watched in the dark as Peter’s free hand came to rest up on Harley’s chest as he calmed his breathing and his heart rate slowed down gradually, blinking up at Harley through his eyelashes. Then his honey brown eyes travelled down to their joined hands, and Harley was expecting a blush or something, but Peter just smiled softly before schooling his expression back to blank and looking up to Harley again. 

“No ones there. We should leave before the bell goes off,” Peter whispered, pushing the handle down and pulling his friend out of the room with him before letting go and turning towards his locker. 

Harley stood there watching him walk away, urging the feelings that were bubbling up inside him to calm down a little, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest, before Peter stopped and turned to face him from halfway down the corridor.  
“Aren’t you coming, Princess?” 

Harley almost choked, but instead he let a smirk creep onto his lips as he galloped towards the other boy. “Course I am, darlin,” he drawled in an exaggerated version of his accent (that made Peter melt).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t worrrryy it’s not gonna be much longer now. i honestly didn’t mean to drag this out so long but thank you for all the comments. i'm struggling to come up with ideas for future chapters now so updates may slow down, especially now that my break is almost over, but i’m not ending it yet because i don’t know where i wanna end this.


	22. sometimes the best place to realise things is in the middle of a crowded high school corridor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been so busy but I’ve got weekends free so I can finally update again yee

Harley, Ned and MJ turned the corner of lockers to get to their next class, trekking through the corridor of teenagers to reach the science lab at the end of it when Harley heard a familiar, angelic noise coming from ahead of him, and it instantly soothed him, like waves of calm and content and the feeling of being home washing over him when he was in Peter’s presence. But then he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what had made Peter laugh; a pretty girl with long, silky flowing hair giggling and making heart eyes at Peter was clearly desperate for his attention, and it made Harley’s blood. Boil. _Oh hell no. _His face became steely, his eyes hardened, and he entirely missed the knowing look that Ned and MJ shared (again) as he thought that this was _wrong_. Only Harley was allowed to make his Petey laugh like that. And that hair flip was disgusting.__

____

____

Peter nodded excitedly, laughing loudly while he responded to the girl, “Yes, oh my god, that’s exactly what he sounds like,” to which she giggled back at him. She opened her mouth to say something else, but it snapped shut when her gaze trailed down to find an arm that was wrapping itself around Peter’s waist, claiming him as its own. Peter barely suppressed a jump at the touch (thanks, you useless spidey sense, not working around- oh.) She eyed the motion slowly, looking up at Harley who stared her down challengingly, and the look that had been in her eyes died, her face fell as a new realisation dawned on her. Harley pulled Peter’s torso even closer towards his own, and the girl took a small step back as if she was embarrassed, the boy was already taken for god’s sake, and she muttered a friendly but rushed “See ya,” before scuttling away. 

____

Peter stood there, bemused. He swivelled in Harley’s grip so that he was facing the other boy- who had pulled them so close that this action meant their chests were practically touching and Harley’s arm still hung on Peter’s waist.

____

“And what,” Peter began, “was that?” 

____

Harley looked down at him. “She was flirting with you,” he said, and his hand squeezed Peter’s side possessively as if he was offended by the mere memory of it, making Peter’s eyes widen slightly at how protective he was being. Good job he didn’t bruise too easily, because damn. 

____

“...Are you jealous?” Peter blinked at him, looking up into his deep blue eyes to search for Harley’s meaning, to search for honesty, and his breath caught in his throat at the intense look he found directed at him.

____

“I don’t like it when other people steal my job, darlin,” Harley drawled lowly, and oh my god this was real. This was really real, the most real conversation they had ever had and Peter’s honey eyes couldn’t look away from Harley’s face even if he wanted to. What was he supposed to say to that? He was pretty sure that Harley could see that he wanted to devour him but it’s not like he could mask it now; Harley was too close, he was all of his senses, he was one with Harley. 

____

That look could only mean one thing and he couldn’t even deny it now, not when he was staring at him unwaveringly. Peter knew that that look was in his eyes too. He couldn’t hear anything from around them, their fellow students had become blurred background noise as he focused on the one in front of him. And, well, he had always been strangely tuned in to Harley- subconsciously at least. Peter always noticed when he started fidgeting restlessly, when his blonde curls flopped out of place, when he got that gleam in his ocean orbs that only meant trouble (for the avengers, mostly). 

____

Somehow that moment of silence communicated more about their feelings between them than they could ever say out loud. They weren’t inches away from each other, sharing the same air when-

____

RING! 

____

And the moment was ruined. At the sound of the bell they jerked back to reality, scurrying off to the laboratory for class but not forgetting. Which wasn’t very good for one’s concentration in the middle of biology, when all they could think about was how much they loved their best friend.

____


	23. dam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im glad yall like the last few chapters because idk if I really do... I feel like I’ve milked this fic as much as I can ahahha but I’m still determined to find it an ending. uwu to everyone reading <3

Tony knocked on Harley’s bedroom door, but received no response. He knew they were in there though. So he pushed the handle down and opened the door slowly (and no, it didn’t creak because Tony damn Stark designed this damn tower) and faced a mountain of blankets with the hum of a tv show coming from beneath it. 

He lifted the entrance to their fort and found them cuddled up in a plethora of pillows, their eyes flickering from the screen to Tony back to the screen, but not moving from their position with arms wrapped around each other. Tony couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them and it took him a moment to remember why he came to find them. 

“Steve’s cooking, dinner’ll be ready in five minutes,” he said, already moving to the door so that they could be left alone, hearing the distracted “okay” and “mmhmm” in response that vibrated on Harley’s chest as he shut the door behind him. 

He smirked all the way back to the common room and informed the others of the state he had found them in, earning a couple of “aww”s and a couple of disbelieving looks at how disgustingly adorable they were as a couple yet... not a couple. And Natasha, who smiled. No one bothered asking. She knew everything and they would see soon enough if it was important. 

Five minutes later they came traipsing in while Bucky placed steaming plates in the middle of the table, and everyone took a seat. It started off with a few quiet conversations occurring, with Wanda praising Steve’s cooking and Sam and Bucky muttering insults at each other that weren’t actually that insulting (making Steve look half concerned and half amused at them) and Peter shovelled food into his mouth as if he was worried it would disappear. Natasha was glaring at Tony because she could see the scheming glint in his eye, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care because he spoke anyway.

Looking at Peter and Harley, he asked, “So. How was your date? Looked cozy.” 

The table fell suddenly silent, all of them nervously turning to glance the teens’ reactions, practically holding their breaths in anticipation- and worry in Natasha and Wanda’s case, they said not to meddle damn it- as Tony continued to smirk at them teasingly. Did that man have no tact? The air was so thick you could cut the tension with a knife. But Harley didn’t even show any outwardly reaction, he just stopped and swivelled to face Peter.  
“Was that a date? Are we dating?” 

Harley’s voice held no joking or disgusted tone, only a questioning one, and it made Peter pause. He sifted through his memories with Harley (so, basically all of his memories lately) and all signs pointed to yes. They had literally just been cuddling, hadn’t they?

“Yeah,” Peter said simply, and Harley beamed at him, and Peter couldn’t help but beam right back at him as he watched the other boy’s eyes light up and mouth curl. And then they went right back to eating their pasta as if nothing had happened.

The avengers around the table blinked. What.

“Are you kidding me?!” Tony bursted out in exasperation, cutting through the silence that had settled again, slamming his fork down onto the table with a loud clang. “Just like that!? I’ve had to sit here and watch you two dance around each other for _months_ and then you just say “yo are we dating” “sure”?? The most dramatic bitches I know and that’s all it took?” 

Peter and Harley shrugged, giggling at the man’s anger and Bucky sighed. “Well it was definitely anti climactic,” he muttered, but you could tell he was actually really fucking pleased they finally got their heads out their asses and realised what was going on. 

Harley whispered “uwu” quietly so that only Peter would hear before taking a bite of pasta, making the boy turn and smile at him halfway through chewing, his mouth closed but his cheeks puffed out. Harley laughed. He looked like a hamster. 

“Stop it. I’m trying to eat. Stop being gross,” Sam complained, making Clint backhand his shoulder as if to say ‘shut up they’re cute.’

Natasha just shook her head fondly; she knew everything, but she didn’t know that was how it would go down. 

Little did they know that the both of them were internally screeching for the rest of that dinner. 

⎊

Harley was totally disappointed that Peter had disappeared right after they finished eating. He knew he had other duties, but like, couldn’t spidermanning wait until after they talked- or well, maybe he didn’t want that much talking. He had waited far too long for this moment only for Petey to run off. 

Okay, maybe that’s not fair, Karen _had_ beeped on his watch and told him about a robbery, and Harley obviously knew that he had to go and wasn’t mad about it. Didn’t mean he wouldn’t sulk. 

An hour later Spider-Man swung in through the window and Harley just wanted to slam him up against the wall and kiss him until he was dizzy. But he was petty, and if Peter was gonna make him wait, then Peter was gonna have to work for it. 

“Hey Princess,” Peter said as he pulled off his mask, revealing messed up brown waves and those big doe eyes and okay damn it maybe this was going to be harder than planned. ~~Not the only thing that was going to end up harder tha~~

“Hey,” Harley had to bite his tongue to physically stop one of the nicknames slipping out. Peter seemed to notice and cocked his head like a puppy, his first thoughts being hesitant and worried that Harley had changed his mind, that he didn’t like him, but then he saw that look in the other boy’s eyes again and he knew that wasn’t true. Hmm. Was he trying to get a reaction from him? 

“How was patrol?” 

Ah, so it was about him taking off. Peter bit back his smirk and inched closer to where Harley stood. “It was okay, I saved some bankers but I got a tough punch right to the stomach that winded me pretty badly.” (He had not.) 

He saw Harley’s gaze flicker and his hand twitched a bit as if he was going to go rush up to him and check if he was okay, but he stopped himself. Peter noticed this and smirked a little, which made Harley squint calculatingly and wonder if he was telling the truth. (He wasn’t.)

“Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peel-ing.”

Harley scoffed. “That was a-paul-ing.” 

Peter pouted sadly and took another step closer. “Do you generate electricity using water? Because dam,” he said, looking up and down at Harley, who had to turn away to mask his smile. He was trying to act indifferent, damn it. 

Peter followed him as he started walking towards his room. “Are you from Tennessee? B-“

“Because I’m the only ten you see?” Harley said, looking over his shoulder briefly to raise his eyebrow at the terrible line before pushing his door open and making his way over to the bottle of water beside his bed so that he had something to do, something to distract him from laughing or looking at Petey’s cute face. He could see Peter deflate slightly from the corner of his eye after his reaction, but then he perked up and got an evil glint in his eye just as suddenly. 

“If i were a gardener you’d be my hoe.”

Harley spat out his drink, spraying water everywhere and choking while Peter stood in the corner grinning like mad at succeeding in getting a reaction from Harley. 

“You little shit,” Harley growled unseriously, stepping forward to jab his finger at Peter accusingly after wiping away some of the dribble on his chin, “I didn’t know you could be so blunt.” 

“You were ignoring me,” Peter sulked with fake innocence, blinking up at him with sweet brown eyes through his eyelashes and Harley couldn’t take it anymore. He surged forward and grabbed Peter’s face in his hands, tilting his head and pressing his lips against Peter’s, who’s mouth curved into a small smile of victory before he returned the kiss, their lips moving in sync, Peter’s hands burying into Harley’s locks of hair. Harley’s hands snaked down to Peter’s waist, wrapping around him as if he never wanted to let go and he tried to communicate this by pouring his entire self into this kiss, passionate, hungry, truthful. 

When they parted they opened their eyes after a moment and laughed softly. Harley’s hair was ruffled up, his lips swollen, Peter was breathless and blushing and they both thought _fuck, I did that_. It was the best feeling in the world.


	24. this chapter is full of yeeting

Wanda and Peter were sitting on the couch watching the tv but not really watching the tv, mostly just chatting. Every now and again Wanda would randomly use her powers to suddenly launch something at Peter to see if he would react quick enough to catch it, and every time, the spider did. He didn’t even address it either. He caught each object without stopping his sentence, barely even registering what he was doing as his reflexes took care of most of it. Wanda nodded innocently while he talked, pretending to understand as she launched something new at him. 

Peter didn’t even blink. Which is why, later on, she raised an eyebrow at him when he stopped talking for no apparent reason, and then he turned his head slightly as if he was listening for something. 

Then Harley walked in, and she understood. Peter watched the boy carefully as he zombie-walked towards the kitchen for coffee, dragging his feet as if through thick mud, tired eyes not really registering his surroundings yet. It was not even that early. Harley just hated waking up. 

Harley half missed the doorway, his left side ramming into the wall before he stumbled back, looking offended, making Wanda snort. “Wow,” she said, shaking her head a little. 

Peter looked over at her and a mischievous grin grew on his face. “I think he needs help waking up.”

Oh no, was what Wanda was thinking as Peter jumped to his feet, but also, oh yes because she definitely wanted to see what was going to unfold. 

Peter broke into a sprint towards the doorway where Harley was still trying to figure out how to move through it, yelling “Hey Harls, catch!!” before leaping and flinging himself at the boy who barely had time to turn around to face him, never mind catch. 

Harley looked startled, to say the least, when he glanced down and there was a spider-boy in his arms. Wanda was giggling softly from the couch as Harley processed. 

“Why do you weigh _nothing?_ ” he asked in his southern drawl, confused but more awake now, which meant that Peter’s plan was a success. 

Spider-baby just replied with a creepy “hehe” and wrapped his arms around Harley’s neck. 

“Did you know there are other ways to wake people up?” Harley added, but he definitely wasn’t as annoyed as he was trying to come off as, a smirk dancing on his lips as he looked down at the boy in his arms with his cute morning hair and big brown eyes and goofy victorious grin. 

“Are you complaining?” Peter asked slyly, but the smile on his face that matched Harley’s already told him the answer. 

“No. But I thought I was the koala,” Harley said. 

Wanda needed some popcorn. Their life was basically a rom-com. 

“Hey, you know those little sticky toy things children play with where you literally just yeet them at the wall and they stick there? If I threw you like that, would you stick?” 

Aaaaand she takes it back. They were weird. Perfect for each other, considering how their train of thought just seems to swerve and change tracks with no warning at all and yet they can keep up with other, but weird. 

So Scarlet Witch stood to leave the teens alone; she couldn’t keep up with them (at least, not when they were together. Separately, she was actually very good friends with them both). But she’d be lying if she said she didn’t look back over her shoulder as Harley threw Peter across the room to find out if he did indeed stick.


	25. you tell someone you love them, and then the next day you have a child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so I’m posting this even though I haven’t written in forever and don’t have any more chapters in my drafts (I usually post a chapter when I have like four chapters ahead), hoping that it will force me to write some more but I’ve been so busyyy and I have like no free time. So please feel free to comment prompts because I only have ideas for other, separate fics which I refuse to write before ending this one, even if I don’t KNOW how to end this one. (I’m a mess I know) 
> 
> Also I ended the last chapter like that on purpose but yall really wanted to know whether he stuck... it was kinda up for your interpretation (but yes, he did stick). Thankyou for all your continued love, just bear with me <333

Peter lay on his back. He curled on his side. He turned, and tossed and turned and it was dark and the tower was quiet and New York City lights blinked down below him and he still couldn’t sleep. He growled in frustration, burying his head under his pillow before he decided it had been too long. Why couldn’t he sleeeeeeep?

Another five agonisingly long minutes later, he kicked off the covers and stood up in one swift motion and padded out into the corridor, wearing those dumb pink hello kitty pyjama pants that Mr Stark had definitely bought to embarrass him, but they were surprisingly comfy damn it, so he wasn’t not gonna wear them. 

Harley stirred when the bed sank beside him, waking from his dream when the mattress creaked quietly as he felt arms wrap around him carefully. 

“Mmm hey," he drawled sleepily, accent heavier than it would be during the day, his arms automatically reciprocating and curling around the boy beside him, “you okay darlin?” 

“Yeah. Just needed some Harley snuggles.” 

Harley opened his eyes to look at him, finding his outline in the darkness with messy black waves of hair squished against his pillow and big black eyes looking up at him with so much adoration and content. Peter’s sight was a little better, he didn’t have, like, night vision or anything as dramatic, but Harley was just as stunning in the night as he was in the daylight. 

“I love you,” Harley said after a moment, because it was what he felt, no, all he felt, and he had to say it; he was nervous but not nervous at all because it was _Peter_. 

The spider tightened his arms around Harley’s waist, squeezing gently and replied just as sincerely, “I love you too.” 

Then he lay his head down on Harley’s chest, cuddling as close as he could get without disturbing the other boy too much, but arms were pulling him in closer anyway, and he felt _home_. Was home an emotion? It should totally be an emotion. 

They drifted off into a calm sleep with twin warm feelings in their chests, waking up just as tightly wound together (which only Peter truly registered in the morning, Harley too groggy to notice anything but how warm and safe he felt). 

⎊

Harley looked up from the desk in Tony’s lab, finding the man focused on the intricate welding in his hands, but there was a distinct energy absent from the room and it was making him antsy. Unsettled. 

“I feel like he’s been gone too long. He said he’d be back by now, right?” Harley broke the silence; Tony didn’t even need to ask who he was talking about. 

The billionaire sighed. “He probably got distracted on the way by some mugging or other petty crime and is swinging around being New York’s saviour,” he offered, sounding exasperated but Harley knew there was always an undertone of panic for him, because despite what the man tried to show outwardly, you could tell he cared. 

“Yeah, well, we thought that last time and he had been kidnapped!” 

Tony sighed again. “Friday, did Peter get distracted by Spider-Man business on the back to the tower?” 

“No, boss,” Friday’s calm voice sounded through the laboratory, making both of them jerk straight up with fear before the AI rushed to add, “But he has not been abducted or injured either. The location of his phone says that he has been in an alley for the last 20 minutes.” 

Harley and Tony turned to share a confused look before the boy stormed towards the elevator. “I’m going after him,” he determined, out of sight before Tony could say anything in return. 

He sighed again, alone in the room, dreaming of a simpler time before he acquired a couple of teenagers. 

⎊

It was an hour later, and Tony had went up to the common room where a few of the avengers were hanging out. He had told Friday to notify him if the boys were in any actual trouble, but he knew they were fine. He was actually glad for the short break from them, too tired to deal with their cutesy shit that he was secretly proud of, and poured a cup of coffee. Then everyone’s heads suddenly snapped towards the entrance when a voice rang out loudly. 

“So. I found our stray,” he said, despite the absence of a Peter beside him, “but the thing is. He also... found a stray?” 

And then Peter walked in, making Wanda and Bruce coo, Natasha smirk slightly before her face was schooled back to a calculating expression and Tony literally look like he regretted every life choice he made that had led up to this moment. His eyes looked into one of Friday’s cameras like an episode of the office and he looked deeply done. Done was now an emotion, too.

The tiny kitten mewled in Peter’s hand, so young that her eyes were barely open and the sound was so high pitched it almost didn’t exist. Peter’s mouth dropped into an ‘O’ as he “aww”ed before Tony cleared his throat and he whipped his head to look up at him. 

He gave a sheepish grin before Tony started on him. “Why. Why have you brought a cat here. In my home.” 

Harley and Peter ignored him. 

“This is our daughter, Avocado. ‘Ava’ for short!” Harley said with a big cutesy grin on his face as he raised a hand to gently run his hand over the kitten’s fur. 

“You can’t keep a cat here.”

“We are a family. You can’t separate a family, poor avocado had been abandoned and now you want us to abandon her again? What kind of abandonment issues do you think this cat would grow up with, never to trust another human or cat ever again, going through life with a-“ 

“Okay, okay shut up.” Tony interrupted Harley, rubbing his temple in irritation.

Peter pulled the kitty closer to his chest, and turned his gaze to the man. Oh no, not the puppy eyes. He made his brown orbs gleam, wide and begging and so deceivingly innocent and Tony didn’t have the heart to say no to him, leaving a pause in the room for a moment where you could feel the tension in the air. 

“I fucking hate you,”  
He said to the two, before sighing in defeat and walking out of the door, Harley and Peter cheering while Wanda skipped over to stroke Ava gently. They looked like proud moms as they gazed at the tiny being, Wanda as the cool aunt. 

“Ahh just look at her little face!! She is our baby,” Peter breathed, before jumping at a notification buzzing in his back pocket. 

_you guys are responsible for food, litter and injections. keep her clean or she’s out_

Harley read the text over his shoulder and snorted. “He is going to be one of those dads who says they will never get a pet and then ends up the one closest and most in love with them. And he’ll deny it, but then he’ll shout at us for not giving her treats.” 

Peter grinned manically at him, knowing that that sounded about right.


	26. I’m a freaking ninja mr dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW i know it’s been forever lol I’m sorry, I’m uninspired for this fic now and also suddenly really busy now summer is over and you may notice the next chapter is the last one. I just wanted to say thankyou for the comments and suggestions, they actually helped and I’m totally using one of the prompts for the final one, even though I couldn’t write the rest of them into chapters. I may make some of them into one shots though, because I loved the ideas, I just couldn’t find the time or energy to create them into this series. Thanks again for being patient and for reading at all, really. <3
> 
> Also, yes I know that’s obviously not the lyrics to the lion king but that’s how I envisioned Harley singing it ok

“AAAAAAAAAA SVENYAAAAA,” 

Was the first thing Tony heard when he stepped out the elevator. 

“ABAA BEECHEEE BABBAAAAAA”

The first thing he _saw_ was Harley, standing tall on the sofa, arms outstretched up into the air with a tiny kitten between his hands as if he was making an offering; Peter sitting cross legged on the floor and gazing up at the two of them in absolute awe. 

“AAAAAAAA SVENYAAAA”

Weird lion king renaction aside, Tony couldn’t help but think that, huh, they were a cute little family. Ava’s face even kinda looked like them, which might sound totally dumb, she was a _cat_ , but she totally had Peter’s eyes and her fur did a little swoosh like Harley’s mop of blonde hair.

Which made Tony think he was totally sleep deprived and making this all up as he observed the teens because why the hell was he thinking that the creature looked like two boys-

And then Ava began to squirm and wriggle in Harley’s grip, threatening to scratch his hands with her tiny evil needle claws, and there was a gasp, a split second where she was falling, freefalling through the air as if in slow motion with Harley screaming “Noooooooo!” as Tony watched, his eyes widening slightly as she fell and didn’t begin to flip over to land on her feet like all cats do. Maybe she was too young to have that instinct, or maybe she had it, and just couldn’t do it yet? 

But then she landed softly, in a different pair of hands. And after a shocked pause a voice squeaked “I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me!” in a higher than normal pitch- in what Tony assumed to be Peter’s voice for Avocad- no. Tony absolutely refused to call it _Avocado_.

Harley let out the breath he had been holding and burst out into a fit of giggles as he looked down at his kitten cuddled up against his boyfriend. 

“Why are you laughing Mr. Dad? I am a freaking ninja,” the same silly, put-on voice squealed, which only served to set Harley off laughing even harder. Which set Peter off. And suddenly Tony was watching the three of them roll around on the floor. 

⎊

Peter wanted to catch Tony out for being the cat dad that Harley said he would end up being. The man in question liked to pretend that he didn’t like the little fluffy kitten, but yesterday Peter walked into the room and Tony was standing too straight and too formally for it to be natural, Avocado at his feet, and he greeted the boy with a “Hey Pete!” that was splurted out too nervously for him to not have been doing either something suspicious or something he didn’t want to be caught doing. Like giving kitty cuddles or belly rubs. 

Harley, the little menace, just wanted to prank Tony. Anything would suffice, really.

So they planned a two in one. Expose Tony as a liar and a secret softie while also giving him a heart attack. 

That’s how Peter ended up camping out on the ceiling for half an hour, waiting for the moment to present itself. _Come on Ava, demand some of that attention you love before my fingertips go numb and drop off,_ he thought. And yes, he had to be on the ceiling, because Tony would never ever pet the cat if he thought someone else was there, if only for the fact that he put on such a dramatic show when the boys first brought her home that he didn’t want to keep her, even though everybody knew that he actually really liked cats. 

He could totally ask FRIDAY to just record Tony and send it to him, she’s always recording anyway, but he needed to be there for the dramatics so he could pop up- or drop down, I guess- in the moment and watch Tony’s horrified expression once he realises he’s been found out. 

It happens another 15 minutes later. 

Ava comes clumsily trotting in and what Peter hears almost makes him drop off the ceiling in shock, and he has to suppress a giggle behind the hand that’s not holding his phone out to film.

“Oh who’s a good girl?” Tony says distractedly, but with a strong baby voice on, “you the good girl, Ava, yes, you just want some scratches?”  
He roughly itches under her chin with delight in his eyes before it’s abruptly interrupted by a spider dropping to the floor in front of them yelling, “I KNEW IT!! YOU LOVE AVOCADO!! I HAVE VIDEO EVIDENCE!!” 

Tony straightened up, stuttering with his eyes wide in shock, “What? N-no I. I don-“ but then was abruptly interrupted again, this time by the heart attack. It came from behind him while all his attention was on Peter, a deafeningly loud HHHOONK as Harley materialised from thin air and pressed down on the air horn. The memory of the scream Tony let out left Peter and Harley laughing their asses off for _days._


End file.
